Pat Stedman Blog

The *Real* Independent Women

The other day one of my followers retweeted some girl talking about choosing the yolo lifestyle. I can’t see the tweet anymore cause she deleted it (I take responsibility for inadvertently sicking my troll followers on her, causing her to carpet-block). But, it was basically her stating she’s “matured” past her 15 year old self which […]

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Let’s Talk Polyamory

This email is guaranteed to offend some, but I want an honest look at this. I got into an exchange with the great Geoffrey Miller the other day. He’s a famous “evolutionary sex” scientist and polyamory advocate. Now, I want to be clear about some things. I’ve got nothing against Geoffrey. I think he’s a

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What Women *Really* Want

I’ve been thinking about attraction for the last decade. And I’ve consumed more or less all the opinions about “what women want” that exist out there. Right now, at least in the circles I’ve been frequenting, the main obsession seems to be with leadership. Women want men who are leaders. Men who lead the family.

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Why “Sickos” Get Laid

Last email we talked about lust, and the unattractiveness of it. But the truth is… well… I wasn’t being entirely truthful. Plenty of people successfully hook up when their only motivating factor is lust. Indeed, being a sick, lust-filled pervert can mean quite a bit of sex. But there’s a catch. Something that might not

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The Thot Personality

I hate singling out any type for criticism, as there are always exceptions, and it can lead people to unjustly reject compatible people based on type. But there’s one thing I’ve noticed that is so universal it’s tough to ignore. So common. So predictable. I just need to say it. Beware of ESFJs. Now, being

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The Flipside of Infidelity

The following tale is a difficult one to tell. It delves into some very dark parts of the female psyche, particularly the psyche of a ubiquitous female type: the ISFJ. But tis very instructive, so let’s dive in. First, a little background. ISFJs are the behind-the-scenes “caretaker” women. They keep a nice, orderly home. Appreciate

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The Perils of Game

I’ve somewhat positioned myself as the anti-game dating coach in these corners. While other people talk about it constantly, I tend to minimize it… focusing instead on the deep work.But the truth is, I’m not anti-game. It’s a Pillar of Attraction (Persona).I simply speak out against it, because I see it overdone. Case study #1:

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