Stumbled upon a really good exchange on Twitter that dovetails nicely with a lot of what we’ve been talking about with “context” recently:
I love the point that Rivelino made. And it begs a very serious question:
Is it game if she’s lower value than you? What is game, really?
Now, I don’t want to get too “heady” with this. I think Riv’s point is right fundamentally — if your value is well beyond a woman’s, it’s not expert level game to elevate her like that.
When your “preselection” (passive framing) is doing most of the work, your “persona” (active framing) needs to simply move the process along.
But in my perspective, that’s still game.
It’s a different calibration, and a different approach. But it may be the right approach, given your objectives, and the context of the dynamics.
In the situation above, InvestorPUA is a young guy approaching a woman 10-20 years older than him.
She KNOWS his sexual value is higher than hers. And thus she is likely to do 1 of 2 things:
– pursue him like he is the prey (cougar game)
– avoid moving forward because the value / age difference is too extreme for her to risk her ego pursuing
If it’s the former case, he’s depolarized — he’s the sex object, not her. This is very bad generally, but in this context — it’s a fast way to sex if he “entices” her to pursue.
And if it’s the latter case, the comment elevating her looks isn’t a bad idea… because part of her desire might be shut down due to the imbalanced dynamics.
Remember, women want to be desired by desirable men.
If you are already desirable, it’s important you make her feel desired by you. This is comfort — it makes it more likely you will close with a girl under your level.
Hector Beaman chimed with some good points though:
And I don’t really have much disagreement with him. That approach would have made her fall more into his frame.
But my overall point here isn’t to say the way InvestorPUA went about it was the ultimate “correct” way — simply to say that his way works in the context, which is what matters.
And that I don’t think we should ignore the power of flattery on older women, especially when it comes from an attractive, younger guy.
When women are younger, they get an enormous amount of attention. Men throwing looks after them is normal and expected.
When they get older, and those looks diminish, it hurts. And thus compliments — even ones that appear to elevate them — mean a hell of a lot more.
And so long as your value is otherwise high, I don’t think it diminishes them. A woman is as likely or, depending on the woman, more likely to fall for Brad Pitt because he thinks she’s incredible.
Your passive value allows you to use flattery to increase her fantasy of her, not diminish it.
Remember: Seduction is all about addressing the ego, and making someone associate its validation with you. For older women, a lot of that is turning the “girl game” of their youth against them.
Anyway, I think you get the idea.
Context matters.
Which is why you should consider working with me.
Because the big trap I see guys getting into is trying to use the same formula in every situation… even when it’s not the most appropriate one.
Indeed, even when it can actively wreck your chances. Yes, you can follow my works. And you can even buy my masterclass (I highly recommend it).
But the benefit of working 1-1 is that I help you calibrate whatever circumstance you’re in… and navigate it like a surgeon navigates an operating table.
So that your chances of not simply surviving, but thriving are maximized
.And best of all?
I teach you what I know… so that after a couple of months, you don’t need me.
Apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
PS We’re going to return to the topic of context tomorrow… but with a twist. See you then!
