So yesterday we got to a lot of talking about online dating on Twitter.
As many of you saw, my takes were not particularly positive on the phenomenon.
I likened it to “getting food at a supermarket” vs approaching girls (more like hunting) or meeting girls through your social circle (raising them on a farm).
The latter two are much more rewarding and nourishing than the former — with your social circle being the most consistent source of quality leads.
But I understand many guys today don’t really see my point.
They meet girls online and hook up with them, and enjoy themselves.
Many even meet their girlfriends on the app.
So what does old Pat Stedman really know?
Well, lots in fact.
Truth is that I cut my cloth quite substantially on online dating… back when it was far better than it is today (OkCupid circa 2011-12).
And, I genuinely enjoyed many of the girls I dated on the app… some of whom I was with for months.
So why diss the apps?
Simple.
1. the ratio of quality to quantity is extremely low
2. the sheer numbers lead to distraction and “burnout” similar to porn
Both of which lead to mental fatigue and a lowered ability to connect with women.
Moreover, you’ve got to be at least above average looking to get good connections on the sites (yes, some are worse than others… but the data is clear women are WAY more picky on the sites than in real life)
And, you just don’t learn how to interact with women quite the same as when you have to go out of your way to talk to them in person.
To return to the food analogy… the reason most guys suck with women (and people in general) today is that they don’t know how to get their own food (women).
They are thus dissociated from one of the most fundamental parts of their nature.
Which is why I’m not necessarily in the camp of “zero dating apps.”
You can go to the supermarket to get some groceries, you don’t need to learn how to catch rabbits in Central Park.
But you need to a) regain that connection with your masculine essence and b) practice getting out of your comfort zone.
The problem I see with most people who do online dating is that they are IRL pussies with women.
They are terrified of approaching a girl so they hide behind a screen.
Not good my man.
If you want to supplement with online dating, that’s fine… but eat your veggies.
Do the work to go out and meet people.
And you want to know one of the best reasons why?
Because not only will you be able to make the move when you see a woman anywhere who strikes your fancy…… but you’ll connect even better with the women you DO meet online.
How to gain these elusive, powerful skills?
Well, there is one way:
Work with me.
Aside from my rare ability to rewire the male brain to be more confident, one of the assets you have working with me is my deep tactical knowledge of how to approach a woman and escalate to intimacy.
So, after we strategize a plan for you to kick your social and dating lives into gear, I show you exactly how to execute it… and keep you accountable.
(And with an exclusive group for clients, the benefits are only growing…)
Apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
PS I’ve got more on this topic to say tomorrow… including some tips on doing online right… stay tuned
