THE POWER OF THE ASSUMPTION WHEN PICKING UP GIRLS

Most guys freeze when they see an attractive girl walking down the street. They glance at her, their heart pounds, and they ultimately shy away, wondering what they could possibly say to her to get her interested in them.

“Should I ask her a question?”

“Do I compliment her?”

“Do I ask her opinion on something?”

“Should I just say hello?”

Well, perhaps.

Each of these can work given the proper body language and delivery. Indeed, sometimes the last one – just saying “Hello” – can work wonders despite its simplicity.

But there is one other approach that is absolute gold. It’s so effective that it doesn’t even matter if you mess it up, because getting it wrong can work just as much in your favor.

That, my friends, is the assumption.

Assumptions can be anything from a presumptive question to a statement, or a combination of the two. Some standard examples include observations like “You seem really chilled out. Are you from the west coast?” or opinion statements like “You’ve got a very professional look to you. Are you a lawyer?”

Assumptions like these are great for a couple of reasons:

Reason #1: It Makes You Stand Out From The Crowd

Most times when a guy asks a girl a question it comes across as lazy. “Where do you work?,” for instance, shows no observation skills whatsoever, won’t interest her, and makes her put all the initial effort into a conversation that you started. Plus, almost nobody likes to talk about their job – let alone girls. Unless a girl is really eager for conversation, these questions are boring.

Assumptive questions on the other hand are different. They show creativity and observation skills, stuff most guys don’t have. They stand out. They also help avoid small talk – the killer of attraction – and force her to consider something specific about her, which has the following added benefit…

Reason #2: It’s Piques Her Interest

Assumptive questions are interesting because even though they are technically questions, they come across like observations. This is good: hardly anybody can ignore an observation about themselves. When most girls hear an assumption about themselves, they are going to want to confirm it, correct it, and above all understand what made you say it.

It doesn’t matter whether your statement is right or wrong. She’s going to be curious about where it came from. This curiosity creates not only intrigue about you but tension, a little bit of which is absolutely necessary for attraction.

Reason #3: It Allows You To Subtly Show-Off

Knowledge and experience are great things, but bragging about having them isn’t. Assumptions allow you to drop knowledge and wisdom in a natural, it’s-not-about-me way. This has the bonus of functioning like a trail of bread crumbs about you, which creates mystery.

For instance, if you see a girl reading a travel book on Morocco and ask her if she’s going to visit Marrakesh, you’ve shown her that you know a bit about the country she’s interested in and likely visiting in. This makes yourself not only someone she’ll be interested in talking to, but someone who’s clearly got an intriguing past or worldly intelligence. And you’ve done it all without coming across as arrogant. Pretty awesome.

Reason #4: You Can Get The Assumption Wrong.

Perhaps the greatest thing about the assumption is that it doesn’t really matter whether or not you get the assumption right. Assuming the assumption is not groveling (like, “Are you a model?” if the girl is just thin and pretty) or stupid (i.e., “Are you an astronaut?” to a normal girl), assumptions can be incorrect and still transition into flirtatious conversations. If I tell a girl she looks like she’s in finance but she’s actually a journalist or a scientist or whatever, it doesn’t mean the conversation is over. Quite the contrary. I can respond with intrigue and/or surprise at her answer, and she will most likely show the same in turn, creating a flirtatious vibe and easy conversation.

Remember: by telling a girl she’s something she’s not, you haven’t turned her off, you’ve piqued her interest! She wants to know why! As long as the assumption has some basis in truth it’s a great way to start talking.

Take the example used earlier: “You seem really chilled out. Are you from the west coast?” Even if she’s not from the west coast, this is not an unreasonable assumption because you’re stating she has a chilled out vibe, which is a compliment as well as something that would be naturally fitting a person from the west coast. Indeed, she’s going to be receptive even if neither statement is true – she could say she’s surprised, she’s never been told she was chill before, and the conversation can still continue naturally. As long as you roll with the punches and don’t cling to your assumptions, in nearly every situation the assumption will just lead to a playful, natural conversation with a pretty girl.

Reason #5: If You Get The Assumption Right, You Stand Out Massively.

Okay, so we know it’s not a big deal if you get an assumption wrong, but what if you get it right? Great things, my man: she’s going to be blown away by you.

Let me give you an example. I’m familiar with geography and have traveled a lot around Europe and have a pretty good idea of what girls from different countries look and sound like. So when I was at a conference once and saw a beautiful girl with a Slavic accent and Russian-Romanian features, I asked her if she was from Moldova, a small eastern country with influence from those two groups. I hadn’t been to Moldova, but figured I’d make a guess because a) It subtly showed off my regional knowledge b) I knew that it wouldn’t matter if I was wrong and c) I was certain she’d be mesmerized if I was right. And I was! She couldn’t believe anyone, let alone an American, could figure out she was from such a small, virtually unknown country. I wasn’t trying to pick her up, but even though her husband was there, she was fascinated by me and gushed about me throughout the rest of the conference.

Of course, you don’t need to know about obscure countries to get girls. But the example shows a powerful universal truth about assumptions: the less a girl expects you to be able to figure out her “story” or background, the more intrigued she will be by you if you get it right. She will think of you as a mind-reader and wonder where you got your skills and knowledge from.

This is why you have a massive incentive when making assumptions to be more specific than vague. If you ask a girl with an American accent in America if she’s American, she’s going to roll her eyes at you. But if you ask her if she’s from Los Angeles (and you’re not in Los Angeles), she’s going to react way more positively, especially if you get it right. Vague assumptions aren’t interesting so be creative and take some risks, and watch the magic happen – whether you’re right or wrong.

Getting good at assumptions takes some practice, but you can and should start using them immediately. The number one way to improve your assumptions is to be more observant; your observations, after all, are what make up the core of your assumption. Pay attention to the way girls carry themselves, what they’re wearing, and how they act. This may take time to perfect, but if you keep at it you’ll be surprised at how accurate you can become. And the best thing is, just practicing assumptions improves your creativity, which makes you a more interesting person and better flirter in general.

Assumptions have been my go-to approach over the years when it comes to talking to girls, and I’ve never looked back. What are some of your favorite approaches? Leave a comment below and let me know.

– Pat

(A variant of this post was first published on The Social Man. It is a phenomenal site – I recommend you check it out)