I’ve received a couple of messages at this point to address the recent “excitement” around Jada and Will Smith.
For those who don’t know (I didn’t either), they recently did an interview of sorts where they discussed their marital problems — specifically Jada’s affair with another man.
As you might expect, the red pill guys LOVED this interview.
Jada showcases all of the darkest, cruelest parts of female nature.
She basically slept with another guy, and not only refused to apologize for it — she glorified the experience. And worse yet, Will sat there and took it.
There were a couple of quotes that summed up their dynamic, and I want to assess this from looking at that.
Jada: “The only person who could give permission is myself”
This was one of the worst parts of the interview. Basically, the “other man” had stated that Will gave him permission to pursue Jada. Both Will and Jada denied this allegation… which would be pretty humiliating for Will if true.
Talking about your wife cheating is emasculating enough. Whether true or not, it’s understandable to deny you allowed it (this is the definition of cuckoldry). It would make sense to leave it at that.
But Jada doesn’t, and just has to add in — “the only person who could give permission is myself” — to emphasize Will didn’t “allow” her to do it because he had NO power to deny it.
Which is a pretty damning statement for a married woman to make about her husband, and shows how little she respects him or his needs.
Jada: “I don’t look at it as an emotional transgression… I was able to grow so much from the experience”
This is what the red pill guys rightly call female solipsism in action. Everything is referential to her and what the experience meant to her. She doesn’t consider the fact that cheating was emotionally painful to the person she dedicated her life to — this is erroneous, as the experience was positive to her.
Will: “I’m gonna get back at you (laughing)”
Will has spent the whole interview listening to his wife justify her cheating without apology. But Will isn’t able to be direct with her. Instead he does a common “nice guy” coping technique and resorts to passive aggressive humor.
It’s obvious Will’s needs are disregarded in this relationship and that he resents Jada. But he is afraid of losing her. The only way for him to communicate his needs is through a joke — that way if and when she declines to respect them, he’ll be able to “avoid” the pain of knowing they were neglected once again.“I’m going to get back at you” is buried anger. But he doesn’t want to be “bad,” he doesn’t want to acknowledge the needs behind that anger, so he won’t let it go the whole way.
Will: “How am I doing” Jada: “You’re doing great”
The context of the above exchange references how HE is doing in the marriage. This *might* seem innocuous in another context, but given the subject matter here — why is he looking for her for approval about his behavior?
The whole frame of this relationship is Will needs to accept emotional abuse if he’s “being good.” This is textbook manipulation.
Other Observations & Conclusions
I could grab out other lines from this, but I want to bring this all home for you to understand.
Look at the eyes of both parties in this interview. Jada’s are cold and hard. This woman isn’t empathetic — she’s hurting herself; she knows she’s a bad person but can’t admit it to herself. She sticks around because she needs Will’s energy. Her wall encourages him to chase, and justifies her actions.
Will’s eyes, in contrast, are pained. You can see how much sadness he carries with him. He overextends himself constantly for others, and has terrible boundaries. It’s no surprise they chose each other — she lives to take, he lives to give.
And they’re both unhappy as a result.
Which begs the question…
How many of you are in relationships like this right now, quietly suffering?
How many of you are single because you scare off women with your needs?
Or perhaps to tie it all together…
How much love and connection with beautiful, healthy women are you leaving on the table because you won’t address your bullshit?
I understand there is a season for everything in life. Perhaps you are not ready to do “the work” yet.
But if you are ready, and you have the means, price should be the least of your concerns.
Your emotional health is tied with your physical health as the most important things in your life.
And your emotional health is directly connected to your ability to get your needs met by the opposite sex.
I am not cheap to work with because transforming your relationship with yourself and with women transforms your entire life.It is not a “low ROI” exchange.
Most of my clients renew with me for a reason — the feel the difference after we work together, and if something comes up down the road, they want me in their corner.
If you do too, apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
