Recently there was a tweet going around that got some traction. And some of you asked me to comment:
As the title of this post suggests, the advice above is full-blown manosphere retardation.
It’s one of those tweets that not only pretends to be “alpha” and “logical” in order to rationalize emotional avoidance… but belies a complete lack of understanding on how people actually work.
Which is what I’m going to focus on today. Because while I hate to shatter anyone’s wishful thinking…
The reality is that men don’t like to commit to women who are beneath them.
We want feminine women, and we want to be admired by them — to be a leader to them. We want authority, her surrender…
But we DON’T want women who are “dead vessels” or needy, and we get tired very quickly of dealing with women who act constantly like emotional children and drain our energy.
Indeed, stupid and boring women are ultimately the bane of a great mens’ existence, and no matter how pretty they might be, we hate the drain they have on our lives.
Which is why it’s always very funny for me when I hear the usual internet alphas talk about how they think they can treat a GREAT woman like dirt for a decade and expect to keep her.
“Stick around as a side-piece for 2 years, then wait another 10 while you’re in your prime, and then I’ll consider you worthy of locking down”
(keep in mind these are the same guys who would at that point say such a 30-something year old woman was “post-wall” and not worth it)
Why even pretend to bother about getting married if this is the way you look at things?
A wife is supposed to be a woman who has value and status. She is your public partner in constructing a legacy and is the mother of your children. It is a position of respect and you should treat her in such a way if you respect yourself.
Don’t try to put a girl who is happy being little more than a whore or plaything – a girl who would waste over a decade of her life “crossing her fingers” – in such a serious and honored role.It is BAD JUDGMENT.
Because either:
a) given the latent resentment due to her waiting so long, the relationship is bound to deteriorate. She will be in it by the end not for you, but because of sunk costs. Once she gets the assets, she’ll demand the kids… and once she has those… she’ll stop caring altogether. Or…
b) she will continue to be a doormat to you, and you will be disgusted by her, only “crossing the line” and marrying out of obligation. You will be the one with resentment, and will likely take it out by cheating.
In other words, you’re almost GUARANTEED to NOT have a happy relationship.
Which is why “in practice” EVERY good marriage for a player has occurred when the woman made him abandon his own ways because she wouldn’t fall for the same tricks.
This was a woman who demanded MORE love and authenticity from the man, or she’d leave.
Indeed, it’s these BOUNDARIES that the woman puts up that inspires the respect for a man to be able to give up the other women and commit.
Despite what cultural programming tries to tell us, men on a deep level don’t respect women who are willing to be played — just like women don’t respect men who want to “give them the world” for nothing.
RESPECT is the foundation of deep, committed relationships.
Ergo a good one can NEVER develop when one partner treats the other one as disposable.
Anyway, enough said.
If you’re a guy whose been fucking this up, apply to work with me: www.patstedman.com/application
I’ll deprogram you… so you can get the relationship you’ve been waiting for.
– Pat
