So a few days ago I put out a thread today that’s going a bit viral on the nature of male and female energy.
But, some elaboration on it… and why I’m talking about these things now.I’ve gone through an enormous number of layers and models when it comes to how men and women operate.
First layer was Game. Showed me how to interact with women and spark attraction.
Next was Evolutionary Biology and psychology. This world showed me the structural ways in nature men and women are different from each other, and why.
And then there was Jungian and “depth” psychology, which showed that there are “types” of personalities that these different personalities create distinct issues and affect the ways you must go about intimacy.
I haven’t stopped using any of these models.
(They all possess truth to them)
But as of the last few months my understanding has matured deeper.
I’ve started to understand that there is more than tactics… more than biology… and even more than psychology at play between men and women.
There’s energy.
And this energy both influences and transcends everything before it.
As I wrote in my thread on Twitter, men tend to have problems controlling their energy and women tend to have problems generating it.
This is not to say that it ALWAYS plays out like this, certainly not one dimensionally.
But men tend to look for release, and women tend to look for source.
Women are drawn towards men who have abundant energy and men are drawn to women who make them want to give up their energy.
Now, men are ALSO drawn to women who have their own energy. These women have a “life” to them, a “spunk” that is truly seductive to guys.
(Everyone is drawn to energy. Think Mary in “There’s Something About Mary”)
But most women don’t really have much of this, and their main way of getting energy is giving men a little energy up front through their looks (beauty creates energy in the beholder) and their femininity (the cool version helps men conserve their energy, the warm version elevates their own levels)… and then taking a serious cut of his own.
(Women crave attention because attention is focused energy. Lack of attention, or “scattered” engagement diffuses energy… which is why these people have no presence.)
Hypergamy is in fact less a matter of biology or materialism, and more a matter of energy — which is why artistic men who provide minimal to know “practical” value succeed in attracting women at high rates.
Women want the guy with the most energy.
And the reason for this is that women are designed in this way.
Women are primarily receivers — the feminine takes, the masculine gives. This is true in the courtship process and of course in the mechanics of sex itself.
Women receive, and ultimately transform what is received into life.
I suspect there is a correlation between a woman’s ability to orgasm with a) her ability to receive and b) the energy of the man in question she is with.
Yes, technique and what not matters… but so long as you know the basics, this is 20% to the remaining 80%.
It’s also why a child is more likely to be conceived when a woman orgasms. And why (anecdotally) conception tends to occur during moments of passion (including negative passion, such as rape).
Men in contrast to women are bad receivers. Which means energetically as a guy you must learn how to cultivate your own energy if you hope to have any.
Men find themselves at the top and bottom of the world because of a man’s ability to cultivate energy. Men who lose this ability, and particularly the ability to control what energy they have, lose everything. Women manage to usually avoid the very bottom of society because they can take from sources around them much more easily.
Women, however, can and MUST learn to develop their own energy as well. The trap is learning to generate their own energy while also being willing to receive from others.
The feminist movement came about in may ways for a good reason: men in the west were developing their own energy at a rapid rate, but constraining such development for women themselves. Women benefitted from the higher energy of the men, but were dependent on them.
Feminism gave women the option of generating their own energy.
And women indeed began to learn how to generate energy on their own.
But by lowering the energy of the men, and by pulling themselves away from men (being less receptive – you see many avoidant women today), women and men have both since suffered a net decline.
The key to going to a “new renaissance” is not throwing the baby out with the bathwater here.
Giving women the space to develop themselves, while also encouraging them to be receptive to men, and to encourage the development of energy in men (much of modern feminism has been about lowering male energy).
Anyway, a different way to think about these things.
If you want the ability to pick my brain on them, and apply these insights to your own dating life…
Apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
