So a story I heard the other day…
A family friend recently a cancer scare.And though he came out of it alive… it made him question some life choices.
You see, this guy had 3 grown kids and a wife.
Or should I say, a “long time live in girlfriend”… since they never formally married (he didn’t want to).
Anyway, all was seemingly well. He worked, she took care of the kids.
20 something years.
But this cancer really spooked him. How much time did he have left?So he did what any reasonable person would do:
He kicked his long time girlfriend out, and started dating a younger girl.
Makes sense right? Out with the old, in with the new?
No big deal his ex didn’t have any skills or anything to her name.
In fact… he was a very generous – too generous! – since he got her a tiny apartment to live in by herself… a perfect place to relax after she strives to make ends meet mending/cleaning clothes.
Wait, what’s that?
Not so fair you say?
Well no shit sherlock.
But remember this whenever you hear some manosphere larper spout out some nonsense about men always being the victim.
Men can be ASSHOLES.
And the reason the anti-male marriage laws exist today is because this scenario I’m noting above wasn’t all that uncommon.
Men would kick women out, or disappear… and the women wouldn’t have skills, so they’d be stuck doing menial labor to survive, often with kids.
Read back to stuff a century ago and you’ll see WIDOW was a primary charity case because their plight was as bad as an orphan.
Yes, times have changed.
But not for all women.
And certainly not for “trad” women.
So I’ll just be blunt:
If you’re going to play the “I don’t want to get married cause the laws suck” game… (which is fine)
Don’t be a shit head.
Because a long term commitment without a contract is a leap of faith for a woman if her main role is to be feminine, pretty, and take care of children.
What happens to her when those children are gone and her looks have faded?
Not such a good prognosis for her.
But more to the main message here… since you came for insights not moralizing.
The guy’s biggest problem wasn’t actually that he treated this “post-wall” woman like an old kitchen appliance.
It’s that he was with her and committed to her for as long as he did.
Huh?
That’s right.
Because I can tell you one thing.
When you almost die, and you realize life is short…
Your impulse isn’t to run from the things you love.
It’s to run from the things you settled for.
This guy never loved his girlfriend. It’s why he never married her.
She did her role properly and he thought, why should I complain?
She was feminine, demure, “a good woman.”
But there wasn’t any deeper connection.
It was a “well I guess it’s time to have kids and this woman is here” kinda thing.
Not so cool.
But extremely common.
In fact, statistically… even if I calibrate for the high quality of the gentlemen on this list… a lot of you are probably going to fuck this up.
You’re going to say: “well, I can figure this out on my own”
And some girl will come around who is “pretty enough” and “feminine enough”… and most importantly… wants YOU.
So you’ll settle.
And then months, years later realize your mistake.
But as time goes by, and your lives intertwine, it just gets harder and harder to dig yourself out of it…
Until finally you realize you married someone you didn’t really love.
Someone who just “checked the boxes.”
Which means your options are a burn-it-all-down divorce (where your kids hate you, like in the guy above)… or suffering through a life not willingly chosen.
Dumb if you ask me.
But as Ben Franklin said: people are “penny wise, pound foolish”
They’ll balk at a 4-figure fee for a service that will permanently transform them and their ability to understand, attract, and keep women…
… meanwhile they spend years burning cash on late night drinks, living in overpriced apartments (often with strangers to make ends meet), settling for superficial dates and dysfunctional relationships if any at all.
Thousands of dollars – gone.
Years of their lives – blown away.
Emotional bandwidth – obliterated.
They become male cat-ladies.
But what can I do to stop it?
Nothing, for most.
The first precondition of change is the desire to actually experience it.
And most of you are caught in prisons of your own mind… too afraid to put in the key and unlock the gate.
Too bad, so sad.
But for those of you who don’t want to become a statistic…
Apply right here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
