An account the other day (he shall not be named, got no issues with him) put out a note along the lines of: “if she makes you wait for sex, you’re not alpha.”
I see this stuff a lot — no surprise, as it makes for good Twitter fodder.
But it is really hilarious to look at the dissonance.
These are the accounts that will critique women for being sexually loose, say women who can’t delay gratification are trash — and then tie their identity to how sexually loose and non-gratification-delaying women are towards him.
I don’t think I need to explain why this is a non-sensical way to think.And why it ensures you will never get a good girl.
But just in case:
If you think you need to have sex immediately with a girl in order to be considered alpha, then you will act in a way that will only attract girls who will sleep with you immediately.
If a girl being a slut determines your ego, you will choose women who are sluts.
Now, is there truth to what he’s saying?
Sure.
Women who are attracted to you put out earlier… than they would have.
But it’s this last part, not the first, that’s key.
Each woman has her own behavior standards… so while she may break some rules for a guy she really wants, a girl with values is not going to simply bend over (ha) and adapt to his sexual schedule.
Nor should she.
Because as you should know, you would not respect such a girl.
But this is not even really the right way to look at things. Let me tell you a tale…
Back in my glory days, I had a “harem.” There were at any time 2-4 girls who I would be seeing regularly, once a week to go on dates and hook up.
These girls would usually last 2-6 months.
The girls were without exception solid women. Not relationship material for me, but good character girls who just needed a guy with better chemistry.
And yet… I hardly slept with any of them on the first date.
Did that make me beta?
Don’t forget, there are plenty of guys who get laid immediately… and never get their calls returned… What does that make them?
Anyway, the point is you MUST look at these things with nuance and context.
You must be discerning.
Which is where I come in.
I help guys to sort through the noise and find the signal.
And I don’t simply tell them.
I teach them.
I make sure when we’re done, they don’t need me.
It’s less coaching than mentoring.
But given the intensity of the work, it’s only for those really committed to permanent change.
Go here if that’s you: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
