With the rise of the “personal brand,” everybody’s been talking about authenticity.
I’m happy about it, too. Authentic people are more enjoyable to be around, and it’s good for business — authenticity is correlated with the deep work I do with clients.
But there’s a trap that many people who want to be “authentic” fall into.
They mistake sharing their feelings for authenticity.
Some personalities (especially those who use extroverted feeling) try to relate to others by sharing how they feel.
Though this creates some degree of bonding (especially with other extroverted feelers), it’s not really authenticity.
It’s just mirroring emotions, and relating through this mirroring.
No one learns anything really about the other person because each person is sharing what they think the other person wants to hear.
Indeed — the act of sharing itself was to get this reaction.
(Which is why anyone who talks about how authentic they are is actually acting — they are anxious to fit in. Subcommunication lesson of the day.)
Now, I am not anti-sharing feelings.
There’s a time and a place.
(I even wrote an article about vulnerability)
But authenticity has nothing to do with this. Authenticity just is. It is what people see when you do things you want without anxiety or holding back.
Building authenticity is really just understanding yourself, accepting yourself, and then not giving a shit what anybody else thinks of you.
The problem?
Most get stuck at one of those junctures.
Which is why you’re in luck:
You can work with me.
I’ll help YOU discover YOURSELF. As in — it will come from you, not me.It’s not “advice.” Nobody listens to advice; I advise, but only on a tactical basis (and when the desire for perspective is sincere).
What I do is rewiring.
It’s getting YOU to think in a more self-aligned way. (Not to become my puppet, like most coaching is)
Go here if you’re interested: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
