People talk about Alpha and Beta a lot as ways to indicate a woman’s sexual responsiveness to a man.
Generally this is shorthand for the “lover-provider” paradigm — the Alphas of course being the lovers, the Betas the providers.
This is a useful heuristic in many ways (and a great rhetorical tool, especially if you’re trying to shit on other men you don’t like). But the more I’ve investigated this dichotomy, the more I’ve learned that things are a bit more complex.
An example:
Ostensibly, a guy sleeping with multiple women would of course be considered Alpha. Having a harem, after all, means you are at the upper end of the sexual selection chart — women are competing over you.
Nothing beta about that, right?
No — or at least, not on the surface.
Yet there’s an interesting aspect to the “have a harem,” “spin plates” mindset that most guys miss. Note that the rationale behind these lifestyles, besides of course the fun, is that the sexual dynamics stop you from becoming dependent upon any single woman for sex (especially good sex).
This lack of dependence not only keeps you satisfied, but creates a positive feedback cycle by instilling dread / competition anxiety in each of the women. It makes the women in your circle sleep with you more in an attempt to stay relevant / get you to commit.
This makes sense, and is a perfectly rational strategy, biologically speaking. But does it really make you less beta psychologically?
Though guys certainly strengthen their frame to some extent by the nature of the sexual dynamics, in my estimation, rarely.
“Get more plates” is a way of telling a guy “find ways to not feel anxious about your sexual access.” It might help a guy take a given woman off a pedestal, but pussy itself remains as high as ever.
This is, incidentally, the reason why most guys — whatever their pre-monogamy dating life looked like — become more “beta” once they enter a serious relationship. Since said men can no longer diversify their emotional dependence on sex amongst multiple women, as the “dread” fades so does their ability to create sexual desire with their woman. They approach her increasingly with subconscious expectations; she responds with increasing disinterest.
The point of this is counterintuitive, but simple.
If you want to overcome your dependence on sexual access to a woman, you cannot do it through bedding more women. That only diffuses the problem and covers it up.
Rather, you must take the power of sex out of the equation entirely… or continue seducing more women for the rest of your life to keep this anxiety at bay.
This is another way of saying, you have to take sex out of the transactional domain.
And the only way to do that is to transcend it, so it becomes an act of pure instinct.
I know this is all sounding esoteric. But we are coming full circle here.
The real difference between an alpha and a beta isn’t quantity of women bedded. That is the difference between a seducer and non-seducer.
The difference between an alpha and beta comes down purely to whether the sexual act is a matter of unconscious alignment or conscious angling. Whether it comes from animal energy or directed emotions.
That’s it.
Which means the whole mental framework of pick up, the manosphere is a dead end.
The “game” is rigged.
Which is why so many smart guys improve but never get all the way there, all while the naturals don’t bat an eyelash. The beast within the former is chained by the very nature of the conscious mind; the latter has only known it running free. They followed it their whole life.
If the former are to overcome this, it won’t be through strategy. It must be done unconventionally.
How? I will outline the details of this in a deeper post. But for now, a few tidbits and hints:
You must discover the dark parts of you; the dark masculinity that seeks to kill, rape, maim.
No, that was not a misstatement.
You need to acknowledge the monster is inside of you.
This is the part of you that has been conditioned out of your conscious mind. It needs to become reintegrated; not allowed to run free, but accepted as part of your animal brain and instinct.
This is the true form of natural “dominance,” the energy that runs through you towards the women you desire. It is the energy they feel and that makes them aroused as well.
A good way to start?
One tip for now.
Go learn to fight.
I remember when I was doing Krav Maga, I felt it when I was sparring with an opponent. He had almost locked me in a position, and in the process knocked my head on the mat. The animal within me awoke, it was a cold rage, a desire for domination.
I lost myself.
It is this same feeling of losing yourself (though in a different form) that occurs when a man desires a woman. He need not seduce or hardly say anything at all. The energy does all the work.
More later.
Try this out for now.
– Pat
PS In case you haven’t realized it, this is a deep-seated problem that won’t disappear from consuming more information. It requires big mental shifts — what I do best. If you’re ready to change, fill out an application.
