One of the things that is exasperating to hear are the frequent cries these days that it’s “gross” and “wrong” for women to date older men, and that any man wanting a younger woman is a “creep.”
While I would not go so far as to say women are “biologically programmed” to want much older men, there is ample evidence that many women do. And there is logical sense to go behind the interest that they have.
Younger men often don’t know how to be men yet. They don’t have their life in order; they’re indecisive. Older men are generally established, they carry themselves better, they lead. They are often more experienced in women, and know what women really want. And if they’ve taken care of themselves, they will still look fit yet also more manly, as a certain degree of age benefits the masculine’s appearance.
Younger women, for their part, are generally much more attractive than their older peers. It’s often said a woman’s looks peak around 20; from there she may still look beautiful and age gracefully, but as time goes on that youthful spark will wither. Moreover, younger women aren’t jaded by life — they are naturally feminine and eager to please, something many older women lose as time goes on.
So given all of this, if you’re an older man why date a woman your age? Perhaps not all, but many younger women will want you, and by all accounts it seems they are the best ones to pick.
But there is a problem with younger women. Something I don’t think guys who are 30+ always realize.
Most younger women are retarded.
So retarded in fact I don’t know how many guys talk to them.
Yes, there has always been a psychological / maturity gap in couples with large age ranges. This is to be expected, and is why I’ve proselytized the classic half +7 rule. This makes communication more difficult, but isn’t necessarily bad; there is still plenty of polarity and attraction, and a woman who is still in many ways a girl is easier to lead. You can perhaps mould such a girl into an ideal wife.
Or at least you could. Obviously, there are still many girls like this. But poor schooling and parenting — not to mention a toxic culture — have made many of these girls close to brain dead. They do not think for themselves, and they are completely self-absorbed and superficial.
You might not care, of course. They are hot. And I’m not saying you should avoid hooking up with them, if that is your thing. My point here is more for relationships. And I’m just not convinced at this point many of these girls are “wife material.” They are vapid. They may tell themselves they deserve X or Y, but at the end of the day they only bring sex to the table.
And a woman your own age, or at least not significantly younger, is less likely to have this problem. These women know who they are, and often even know what they want. Their personality is more colored. They are more likely interesting. And because they did not grow up in such a toxic time-period and have more life experience, they are also more likely to reject the superficial culture.
So as long as you are physically attracted to the woman and there isn’t some fertility constraint, I don’t think it makes sense to de-select a woman simply because she is “too old.”
But there is something you do need to watch out for, that has been warned about time after time:
Baggage.
Yes, an older woman is likely to have more baggage. She has more baggage because she has had more experience (yes, often more sexual experience too).
But this isn’t necessarily bad so much as it is a litmus test. How has she responded to the baggage? Has she recovered and healed, has she become more positive in spite of her trials? Or has she become more of a victim in the process?
Life makes girls into wise women or casualties. The latter is to be avoided at all costs. But the former? The former is what every man ultimately wants his woman to be: a trusted companion and muse.
Younger women are unproven. I know many men have charmed such women and scooped them up, only to later be disillusioned and betrayed as they discover their arm-candy had a different life-orientation than the they had wished.
In the end, most of this comes down to discernment. Older or younger, smarter or sillier, a man who knows how to read women will be able to tell whether or not she has a good heart. Whether she wants to be a constructive or destructive influence in a man’s life.
But how do you develop this kind of discernment?
There are two ways:
1) Date women unconsciously and get your heart broken, finances wrecked, humiliated, cucked, divorced. You will pick up some tips along the way (and some wounds of your own)
2) Work with a coach like yours truly.
Because probably the #1 I teach men that I KNOW FOR A FACT few other coaches are able to do is READ A WOMAN’S INTENTIONS.
Yes, I teach game. Yes, I teach the technicals of approaching. Yes, I do inner work and healing. Yes, I show men how to develop deeper intimacy. Yes, I address sexual performance issues.
But I am not the only coach to do these things (although frankly few do all of them).
Discernment, however, is a very specialized art-form. It takes a precise level of perception.
Many people are surprised I can do what I do over the phone. “How do you know what is actually going on if you weren’t there?”
Because I not only know where to dig, and know what signs to look for…
I can FEEL a person’s intention intuitively.
I can FEEL that your sweet girl you just met that you are head over heels for is TRASH and will betray you in the coming weeks.
I can FEEL that you girlfriend who you can’t decide on marrying is a KEEPER who is exactly what you need and will follow you to the grave.
I can FEEL when she cheated and when she didn’t.
And I am almost never wrong.
My third eye is open. Nobody is invisible to me — neither you nor your woman.
But the benefit of coaching isn’t simply that I am able to wield this skill to your personal advantage.
It’s that I will teach it to you too.
I will open YOUR eyes. Both literally and metaphorically.
If you are ready to pierce the veil…
Apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
