Client the other day was out at an event with some girls he had spent time with on prior occasions.
Normally, he had been “the nice guy.” They treated him OK, but he was along for the ride. Yet this time, they were responding to him differently. They were looking to him more to make decisions, and seemed to care more about what he had to say. One even told him that he was more masculine and attractive than usual.
He was confused about this, however. Because the only difference between his behavior a few month back when they had hung out and now was that this time he was pissed off.
He had a subtle, low-grade anger to him which was causing him to be dismissive of things going on around them. He just didn’t care what anybody thought — in stark contrast to his usual way of operating.
And it made him attractive.
WTF was going on? Are women really this messed up that they prefer angry men?
Most red pill guys would probably say yes.
But honestly you don’t need to go that far with it.
Women liking “angry men” is more or less in the same category as women liking “assholes.” They don’t really like them, they just prefer a man who has some conception of boundaries and frame to a man who lacks them.
And since most men don’t have either of these things, many women will find themselves drawn towards men with “anger” issues, because — low consciousness or not — these emotions make many women act more pleasing or placating in order to mollify the man. His anger possesses a power, which feels “dominant” to them, making her in turn behave more submissive and feminine.
The problem is that, while a woman may initially want to be the cool glass of water that soothes the man’s rough edges — she may see a prince beyond the beast — over time his malcontent wears on her. She realizes he is impossible to please, and her feminine demeanor goes from being a gift to an obligation out of fear. Now she is stepping on egg shells with him. Her happiness, and her femininity, gradually dissipate, as the stress of his mood wears her down. He is an energy parasite, and she tries to avoid him. Gradually, as her resentment builds, she may even get angry herself. It’s at this point relationships tend to become abusive — cruel words fly, and so might vases too.
Which is why your objective as a man should NEVER be to “become an angry guy.” In the long-term it is a losing strategy, and will turn you into a monster.
Anger is only “alpha” when someone else is willing to be weaker and more accommodating to you. It at best gives you relative frame; it is a temporary source of power. Unless the woman you are with is a through-and-through doormat, it never lasts.
And yet, one of the best moments I ever share with a client who struggles to attract women is when I finally see that he is pissed off. Why?
Because for a man who is used to being a bitch, anger is a step UP in consciousness, NOT down.
Understand: consciousness is RELATIVE.
I would rather you be angry than ashamed, because you have far more power as an angry man than a self-recriminating one.
Finally, your energy is directed outward, and you are IMPOSING yourself on the world.
GOOD. This is when guys make breakthroughs. When they stop giving a fuck what women think. When they have a subtle contempt for many of the women they meet, and their banal superficiality. Indeed, when they acknowledge that most women — these judges and juries for years of his sexual value — have boring personalities, and frankly offer nothing other than a warm hole.
This is where your mind must go when you cannot tell a woman “NO,” and consistently violate your self-respect in hopes of getting a scrap of pussy or validation. You must take the empathy bullshit and throw it in the trash, and for the first time in your life, go after what you want.
And THEN, once you realize what these women’s opinions don’t really matter… once you feel the power of being self-directed…
You LET GO of that anger, and begin to care about and accept women once again. You have compassion and desire for them with BOUNDARIES, from a position of STRENGTH, not anxiety or desperation.
THIS is the journey to self-empowerment. This is how you integrate. You lust, you prostrate yourself, you hate, you rise above, and ultimately you honor and appreciate. You love. Without losing love for yourself.
Anybody who tells you that this journey of emotions is wrong is trying to control you. The feminist mainstream controls men by keeping them in guilt and shame. The Red Pill controls them by keeping them in anger and pride. Neither lets you escape, because to escape is to reveal the acolytes’ own stagnation, and that most of them lead lives you would never want to live.
I don’t work with most men, and I never will, because most men are lucky if they feel called to evolve once in their entire life. They “wake up from the blue pill and take the red pill,” which is in turn becomes another blue pill that stops them from ever advancing further.
I am not for simple people like this who are so easily satisfied. As I said on the phone with another client recently, ultimately my work with men is spiritual work. Women are the vector I use to crush and expand men because I have technical and psychological mastery in the affairs of the heart. But at its core, I am not a coach that gets you laid or saves your marriage. I am a coach who turns you into the version of yourself who gets laid and saves his marriage, and I do that fundamentally by changing the way you think about yourself in the world. The practical skills simply facilitate the process, and allow external competence to shift the internal monologue.
Anyway, enough said.
You already know whether you are right for me. Maybe the time isn’t right. Maybe you don’t yet have the money. But you already know it in your heart.
If you want me to walk with you, I will. But the first step is yours to take.
Apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
PS Basic “scarcity play” coming, but in all seriousness: Yes, you need to make sure you’re in the right place to “do the work,” and of course, you need to have the funds to do it. But part of my own personal growth and transformation means I — and my life — is also progressively changing. On a most basic level, this means prices go up, because the value of what I do and demand grows. But increasingly it also means time. Clients who worked with me before COVID had a lot more calls. Every year since it has been less. Partly this has been because they need less for the same results (I am more effective). But it’s also simply a matter of practical reality.
The point is that you should never assume someone will be available to you in the same way forever. That goes for your father, and it goes for me.
If you intend to act, act decisively. There is change on the horizon.
