As it is International Women’s Day (so I’ve been informed; nobody knows about this in the states), I think it’s as good an opportunity as ever for a little perspective shift.
Most of you reading this consider yourselves red pill, manosphere, or at least adjacent to these spaces. Perhaps you are here out of disillusionment with mainstream narratives, or simple curiosity. But for most of you, the real reason is at some point or another, you got hurt by a woman.
Some of you are still nursing this pain, and for many this pain is fresh. Others have long since moved on, but remember the wound.
A woman shattered your heart, cheated, left you, played you, broke up your family. I know there is a long range of stories many of you can tell. And in many ways, it is that pain that brings you here.
But I want to take today to remind you of something you may know intellectually, but that many of you have probably not processed emotionally.
Women have the same dogshit experience when it comes to men.
A tweet came up in the timeline just this morning which crystalized this.
No, we don’t know the full story, but you can feel the anguish in this woman. She is in her mid-30s, recently divorced, and has been trying to have a child with IVF… and is coming to terms with the fact that it isn’t going to happen.
This is pure pain — pure regret. It is the collapse of dreams.
And it seems extremely unlikely that this fate occurred purely because she was solipsistic and decided she could do better than her ex (who as the man was of course the victim of her self-absorption).
My guess is that her ex was a loser. She seems like the kind of modern woman who chooses her men more based on “emotional connection” rather than on them actually being good at being men. She was probably with him for years, and the relationship languished. Maybe she left him, most likely it was mutual — either way you can validly criticize the decision — but my sense is the core problem was she wanted to grow up and he didn’t.
Maybe I’m wrong in this case. But you can’t say it isn’t the case for men at large.
I will tell you something I rarely emphasize because I have so much love for men, especially my clients who show up to do the work — who want to change and evolve. They are the cream of the crop.
But working in this space, I can tell you that men today are totally and completely fucked up, and are as embarrassing in their own way as the vapid, opportunistic 304s (look it up) who are fuck holes with no personality and only exist for attention.
These men either have no ambition or no heart. I don’t think I can tell you enough how many guys spend their whole day trying to avoid responsibility, and who just want to smoke weed, get drunk, and play video games. And the ones that do make something of themselves become self-absorbed and validation-seeking; they have no sense of integrity or honor, and seeing the power vacuum from all the losers, when given the chance will cheat.
Case in point an acquaintance I know. Her boyfriend and her had been together for a decade. A few months ago, when she was pregnant with their first child, he cheated on her with his secretary. To her credit, she left him. But now she is a single mom in her mid-30s. This “man” not only destroyed her life, but fucked up his child’s life too.
All men aren’t like that, but enough are like either of these two caricatures — either not a man, or not a *good* man — that it’s no wonder so many women today are jaded. Their trust is broken, and trust is the most important thing when it comes to a woman attaching. It’s understandable why so many decide “maybe it’s not worth getting close to a guy, I should just get sex when I need it and keep men at arm’s length otherwise.”
What is the point in all of this?
Today, mostly humility and empathy.
Women have their own purification journey, and I am not for a second going to diminish the work they have to do.
But those in glass houses should not throw stones.
Look in the mirror. You have work to do.
If you want my help getting it done faster, apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
PS Check out my testimonials here and on my website.
