Relationship reddit as usual delivered the other day:
The funny thing about the modern era is that it has created all these problems when it comes to sex. And then inevitably begins to default back to “archaic” solutions.
For instance, adultery wayyy back when used to be punished by death. Later as we became more “civilized,” it was one of the few grounds for divorce.
These days it doesn’t matter at all. A woman could cheat and destroy a marriage, and she will still receive at least half of the assets and custody.
(On balance I am in favor of no-fault divorce, however I think there should be legally mandated financial and/or custodial penalties on parties that were unfaithful or violent)
So what to do to stop a woman from cheating?
I’m not a lawyer, so I’m not sure if this girl’s question of whether she can sign some legal contract enforcing fidelity is doable. I’m sure it can be drawn up, but I’m not sure if a court would accept damages from it.
But is there anything else to do outside of the legal realm?
To ask this question is to ask whether or not there is anything you can do to avoid getting hit by a car. Or getting cancer.
No.
There are things you can do to mitigate the risk. But ultimately nothing in life is risk free.
There is ALWAYS a possibility your woman might cheat on you.
So get over it.
I know this is insensitive, especially to guys who have been burned before. But honestly it is something that really annoys me about most of the red pill space today.
EVERYTHING WORTH DOING IN LIFE INVOLVES RISK
This is especially the case as a man, because the masculine’s growth is directly connected to whether or not a man is on his edge. Whether a man is willing to put himself into the arena.
That doesn’t mean you should subject yourself to unnecessary risk. Some women are high cheat risks, some are essentially guaranteed — stay away from these at all costs. But even with “good girls” nothing is certain. Love is not safe; women are not safe. Indeed, that is key to their appeal.
As Nietzsche said, “The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.”
So accept the fact that absent breaking laws and locking women in your basement like a serial killer, you will never stop a woman from cheating if she wants to.
The key is to find a woman that a) hates cheating and doesn’t want to cheat, and b) being a man & creating a relationship she wouldn’t want to stray from.
When it comes to screening woman, most essential is:
- Values & Background. Did she grow up in a broken or whole household? Did she witness cheating and promiscuity growing up? Was infidelity non-existent or normalized?
- Personality Disposition. Is she honest? Is she impulsive? Is she a big flirt? Does she dress provocatively to get male attention? Is she loyal to people in her life, and has friendships stretching back years, or is she a drifter? Does she have mental health problems?
- Track Record. Has she cheated or been cheated on in the past? Does she get into relationships selectively, or does she tend to jump from guy to guy? Did she have sexual trauma in her past?
These are the kind of questions you want to get answers to. They will tell you what you need to know about a woman. She doesn’t need to be perfect to be a good match, but if too many of these stack up you need to be wary.
And then finally, there’s you.
What kind of man are you?
Some women cheat because they are self-destructive, and there is nothing you can do to stop this. But the vast majority of the time, the woman cheats because there is something in her relationship that is missing.
Most of the time, this problem is either emotional or sexual.
- She doesn’t feel loved by her man or connected to him. He is unkind or unreliable, and she doesn’t trust him with her heart. This is fundamentally a comfort issue, but in time will lead to her losing sexual interest as well.
- He is physically unattractive, effeminate, and/or unable to perform sexually, so she is not turned on by him. This is fundamentally a desire issue, but in time will lead to her disconnecting from him emotionally.
If you cover both of these bases and pick a woman who does not have many of the red flags mentioned above.
Nothing is CERTAIN, but your chances of having your woman cheat on you are extremely low.
And the best way to make sure become that attractive man and pick that trustworthy woman?
Get my masterclass.
Because if you combine:
- Developing discernment to understand female psychology, and
- Learning how to attract and keep the woman of your dream — all the way from first approach to married with kids…
You are covering the overwhelming majority of my 18+ hour course.
You can buy it here: https://masterclass.patstedman.com/sales-page
Reminder all purchases are deducted from coaching. So if you’re considering that down the line, you have absolutely nothing to lose.
– Pat
