One of the classic stories we’ve been brought up on has been the “damsel in distress”
Some girl is being taken advantage of by some awful man. You intervene, and tell him to let her go.
Perhaps he does. Or perhaps a fight ensues, and the other guy loses.
The woman is saved. And maybe — just maybe — she falls in love with you.
It’s so archetypal it’s not even funny. Take this classic car scene for instance from “Back To The Future”.
But should you really intervene in these kind of situations?
Now, the incident in this film is perhaps one thing. The woman is asking for help, and is clearly in the process of being raped. Even if he didn’t take action against “Biff” then and there, he would be a piece of shit if he didn’t leave to go get help and come back.
But I will say something that is a bit controversial… yet really needs to be said.
In most cases these days, no you should not intervene.
And here’s why:
‘Good Samaritan’ killed after asking woman if she needed help during domestic dispute
Man killed trying to help woman
Young man dies after getting punched while trying to protect woman
Understand, most of the time when a man and a woman are in a fight, they “know” each other in some capacity — aka they are either officially together, or have some complicated romantic dynamic going on.
This means a couple things:
First, their fight is highly personal and impossible to resolve by you even if this *were* something you wanted to do.
Second, the guy is going to be EXTREMELY territorial because you are essentially intervening on personal business, and are implicitly threatening to take his girl.
And finally — and perhaps most difficult to swallow — in 9/10 cases the girl *doesn’t want to actually leave the man who is abusing her*
This was evidenced by a video a few years back that made it’s way around the manosphere, though I’ve been loathe to be able to find it.
Perhaps some of you remember. It took place at a nightclub, I believe in Romania. Some guy — mafia it seemed — was talking aggressively to his girlfriend.
Another guy intervened in her defense.
This “white knight” was not only shot and killed on the spot… but the girl he was defending went home with the murderer.
The point of this all is simple…
Contrary to what you hear in stories, most women don’t really want to be saved.
If they are in a dysfunctional relationship with a guy, it’s because they co-created it, and they are probably not ready to leave it.
You only are involving yourself in drama you can’t solve and running extreme risks of getting injured or killed for the trouble of caring.
But guess what?
It’s not just women.
Most men don’t want to be saved either.
They refuse to acknowledge they “have a problem” even though fights with their wife are constant throughout the week, and sex is dull and infrequent.
They refuse to accept they need help with women even though they haven’t had a successful date in years, perhaps ever.
They’re “fine.” It’s “OK”
And that is “fine” and “OK” with me.
I learned long ago one of the biggest wastes of your time is to try to help people who “already have it all figured out.” They will not only ignore what you offer, they will hate you for offering it.
You must not throw pearls before swine.
And most guys are swine, content to eat shit and live in filth.
Very few want to rise above the mud.
Very few want to put in the work to experience true desire and devotion from a beautiful, high-character woman.
Very few indeed.
But not all: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
