A reader writes in:
I’m nearing the end of grad school and took some time to isolate and think, take inventory. I realized I’ve become miserable to the fact that I have no social circle anymore.
In high school I was in the football team, in college I made new friends at the boxing gym and built a circle out of that. However, my grad school program consisted of people 30+ years and older. And the jobs I’ve been working reflect the same age demographics.
It’s been about 2-3 years since I’ve had a serious social circle. And it’s not the way I envisioned my early twenties. I want to live a funner life.
Visited a few of my old pals, and they are all out of state and now have developed their own circle. We keep in touch, hangout maybe 2-3X a year.
Don’t want to ramble on. Main question is what do I do exactly? I’ve contemplated joining the military or going back to another younger graduate school(my kind of social group) as I am still young but am advised against doing so due to my MBA.
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First things first, do NOT join the military or get another degree just to make friends. With respect this is beyond retarded thinking.
The military demands at minimum 4 years of your life, would pay you as an enlistee well below what you would earn with your degrees, and there is real potential for hot war with Russia and China in the next few years (or months). Moreover, due to the ideological capture among staff officers and human resources, it is losing its reputation as a “band of brothers.” Most of the men I know in the military are doing everything they can to get out.
And going back to school for no tangible employment purpose is a huge pointless opportunity cost. It is what a lot of modern women do, avoiding real work and just collecting degrees — and most importantly — debt.
I understand the reason, however, you are considering these things. Because you correctly ascertain that in the past when you were in “social environments” (like high school and college) you made friends easily.
But guess what?
You can’t have FRIENDS and WOMEN handed to you on a platter forever.
Children look to others to do things for them. MEN take responsibility for their own outcomes.
Eventually you need to take initiative and be proactive meeting people, or accept mediocrity in your social life.
Of course, most people do not remotely do this. They have their high school and (if applicable) college friends. And then maybe some work colleagues.
All situational relationships.
If they are “lucky,” they will go through life in the same location at the same pace with these people. They will all be single at the same time, then in relationships, then married, and then have kids. They don’t “need” to meet new people, because their old friends are on the same journey with them.
I say “lucky” and “need” in quotes because while this is nice (and strived for by normies), it still puts limitations around your social life and the people in it.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s a GOOD thing to keep childhood friends, and you should if you can (unless it means compromising yourself). But you should also be bringing new people into your life as you grow and evolve. This is how you meet people who are more intrinsically rather than circumstantially aligned, and it is how you also acquire higher quality business and romantic prospects through your network.
So how do you go about doing this?
Take up new activities and projects, and be friendly.
Really not rocket science in the big picture. Like most things that work, it is simple.
But for many men not easy. Because they are not used to taking this kind of agency in their lives.
Which is why you might want to consider working with me.
Not only because I will keep you accountable to your social goals.
But because I will break through the mental blocks that are stopping you from TAKING ACTION.
This kind of coaching is especially important if you’re a single guy in his late 20s+, seeing his social group dwindle or increasingly be composed of married and engaged couples.
Time is of the essence.
Make the shift, apply to work with me here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
PSA: As you likely saw in an earlier email, on June 5th – my 35th Birthday – I go to trial for non-violent charges related to January 6th.
I am looking at years in prison if convicted of all counts. I continue to stand by my not guilty plea entered in court from the outset, and given the facts am confident about exoneration at trial.
The legal fees, however, are extreme and will total at least $180,000. And in the event of a worst case scenario, this burden would leave my wife and children in difficult straights as I am the primary breadwinner.
The masterclass is a great way for you to help me and help yourself. But if it’s out of reach or not what you need right now, please consider donating separately to my legal defense fund.
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