Was asked to elaborate on yesterday’s tweet:
A lot of guys think discipline is what is missing when it comes to managing vices. You are weak, and that is why you are wasting your life away on porn, video games, scrolling, drugs, not making money, not talking to women, being fat etc.
But the reality is, if I took some of you degenerates and threw you into an ACTIVE war zone or famine…
99% of you would stop jerking off and wasting your time.
You would find in fact that you had ENORMOUS reserves of will to get you through difficult situations. To SURVIVE.
You WOULD stay up for 2 days straight and trek across the wilderness without food to get to safety. Many of you would do this even with substantial injuries.
Those of you with children know you would REALLY do it if somehow the safety of them were implicated in your actions.
Yes, YOU — the individual who “can’t get a handle” on his impulses now.
So you are not weak. You POSSESS the will to LIVE. You are capable of enormous feats — challenges far worse than sitting at a computer and working, or going up and talking to a girl.
The issue is that YOU LACK THE FOCUS to understand how wasting your time NOW affects your ability to thrive later.
As I said in this above tweet, most guys will only do ANYTHING when the survival of either themselves or their loved ones is at risk.
The problem is that in the “Era of Abundance” this happens ALMOST NEVER.
The closest guys get to “life or death” is having to finish some term paper or get to work on time despite traffic.
They only concentrate their energy — they only FOCUS — when there are immediate consequences to their actions.
Some of this is frankly speaking an intelligence problem. There are many people who literally cannot think off into the future. You could try to explain how it would affect them, but it “wouldn’t make sense” and would fall on deaf ears.
But if you are reading this email, that is NOT you.
Your problem is not brains. It’s that you are ANXIOUS. And anxious people only act when they are about to get beaten.
They respond to fear, not joy. They move away from bad outcomes, rather than towards good outcomes.
And so when there is no immediate bad outcome, they WASTE TIME.
Because they cannot direct their energy intentionally, it simply seeks an outlet to escape to.
Some people hijack this impulse by inflicting greater pain on themselves / withhold rewards if they do not accomplish what they want. They hijack their own competitive nature to create the illusion of losing, either to a real world opponent, or to some alternate version of themselves.
These tactics can work… for some. They force you to concentrate on daily actions, and give broader perspective. Competitive guys often accomplish great things by “beating” themselves every day.
But they also continue to activate the fear loop. Which could fry the system of guys who are already excessively self-critical.
These guys might be better off collapsing timelines and merging with the ideal version of themselves that exists elsewhere. This reduces anxiety because you understand that you are this person already, you don’t need to fight against him; you simply act congruent with him. You look to your ideal as your destiny, rather than your competition.
You can mix and match these energies as it makes sense for you. One isn’t more “right” than the other; they work or don’t based on your own energetic.
But what they both have in common is FOCUS on transformation into an IDEAL.
Which is why VISUALIZATION is the key to growth, NOT “strength.”
Strength comes automatically with vision, because vision demands it. If you feel the necessity of something in your bones, then all of your energy will rally around accomplishing it.
I was able to trek 80 miles in the mountains without food because I knew I was going to accomplish it. My vision was clear, and so my body provided the strength.
But when you lack that clarity of purpose, you will fail. It doesn’t matter how much willpower you have.
So if you are failing with women right now, consider this wisely.
You are not too “weak” to get out of your comfort zone.
You just don’t want it enough yet. Your vision isn’t clear, it’s hazy.
And the blunt truth is, you will never get the results you are seeking until this changes.
I have seen guys waste more than a decade failing to achieve any results with women, wake up one day and decide enough is enough.
These guys transform rapidly once this choice is made.
And you know why they do?
Because one of the first things they do is work with me.
Not because I make them want to get women. Because I show them *how* to get them.
If you are ready to “get them” too, apply here: www.patstedman.com/application