Very provocative viral blog came out from @medgold a few weeks back I wanted to touch on.
The post is long, and I’m not going to engage with all of it for the sake of focus. I encourage you to read it in its entirety.
Suffice to say, there is much I agree with… though much I think is also overstated. Overall the piece is correct but veers a bit too much into standard red pill “female id supremacy” — aka the dark, feral side of women is emphasized, but at expense of a balanced portrayed of how women operate in practice.
But there was a part I know triggered people I wanted to expand upon:
It’s a well-established — though often surprising — piece of sociological literature that the old-fashioned “Greatest Generation” had more sex than the “free love” boomers, who also had by far more sex than “sex-positive” millennials. Gen Z — the most hyper sexualized generation in recorded history (people identify by their sexual orientation) — has the lowest teen pregnancy rate ever recorded. And lest you think it’s a matter of them being so “sexually responsible” (LOL)… the correlation isn’t complicated: they simply have the least amount of sex of the youth, ever.
The question is — why?
There have been many attempted explanations. Technology makes kids less interested in sex — they’d rather scroll their phones when bored, rather than bang. Porn in particular is at a click of a finger to release their sexual urges. And then you have the “numbing effect” — rather than be something taboo, sex is in your face, so it’s less erotic and interesting. Of course, you also have the fact that people are overweight and less attractive; men in particular have less testosterone, and so are less sexually assertive or masculine looking. Overall there is much less physical and behavioral dimorphism in the sexes, and so less appeal.
All of these things are true, and undoubtably make an impact. But there’s another aspect hanging over all of this: less people are married, and (despite red pill propaganda) on average married people have way more sex than single people.
As Med points out, your horny 1950s girl didn’t have a dilemma on her hands. She had a pool of attractive, masculine men and she got quickly married to one of them when she was young. They had sex every day, her itch was scratched, and it was all above board.
But today you have the growing problem that there are less and less attractive people, and more of a stigma against early marriage. The result? More horny girls are incentivized to be single, with the inevitable consequence of them becoming promiscuous. They can’t meet a guy who shows up as a man, or who understands how to attract women. Can you blame them for having sex with guys who turn them on when the opportunity presents itself?
I have annoyed many people hammering this counterpoint about promiscuity for awhile, as it is a major neurosis in this corner of the internet. But I think Med and I agree that at the end of the day, the biggest reason female promiscuity pisses of guys is that it reminds them they are helpless to command a woman’s sexuality. And the reason they feel helpless is because they don’t know how to turn women on for themselves. They lack virility — they are as Med puts it “unable to fuck women” — and that is the root of not simply their problem, but society’s at large.
It is of course more complicated than this. Many women have skewed expectations and inflated egos. And it’s not clear to me that men wantonly fucking more women will ultimately change society for the better (although it’s hard to argue it’ll make things worse). But the *ability* for men to fuck more women is another matter. The most desirable men are the ones who command female behavior, and thus society’s mores. Therefore the most important thing that men can do today is to become strong and attractive.
We have already seen this play out in practice simply by the exponential expansion of the manosphere itself. 5 years ago this space was a sausage-fest, with only the odd random woman who happened to stumble across it. Now women comprise an easy third of the accounts and this is only growing. It is not simply a potentiality but an inevitability that many of the men in this corner will become the leaders of post-war society.
But to get back to the point… the reality is most women have been having pre-marital sex not because they are bad or broken people, but because that is what they have a) been told to do by society, and b) that is where their (perceived) best sexual options have been.
If you approach the opposite sex with empathy, it is hard to judge the average girl for this. Consider for yourself whether you would prefer to sleep with attractive sluts on the regular — this would require no real effort on your part — or commit to a meh looking girl. Truth be told you know this would not be an easy answer at least not in some seasons of your life — even if you had to share the attractive girl with other men.
As good men become more attractive and learn how to deal with women, the calculus for your average woman will change. I can assure you most are not happy with random hook ups; the dating-help market for women is more than twice the size as the one for men. They are waiting for you to be better, and demand better from them.
But if we are to move forward as a society, there is going to have to be some level of forgiveness and understanding. A “notch count” jubilee, if you will. We will have to act like compassionate adults and acknowledge we did things with people we wished we hadn’t. In other words, we will have to view sexual activity in the context of the time period when it occurred.
No, that doesn’t mean some lines crossed can be returned from. There are going to be many women who went too far with their promiscuity, and who are going to be considered damaged goods by nearly every guy as a result.
But for your average woman who had a few casual hook ups throughout her life when she was single, horny, and an attractive guy made her feel sexy — I recommend you drop your ego and stop letting this bother you.
And take the opposite approach and become more attractive yourself.
To learn how to approach women. To turn them on. And to make them want you.
So they do not even consider any other guys.
As Med says… game is not easy work. You will get rejected. It will take time, and will often suck.
But it will suck a lot less, and for a lot less time if you go through this journey with a coach.
And you will be hard-pressed to find a better coach than me.
Apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
