This is going to be an email that falls on a lot of deaf ears. The manosphere indoctrination on this topic is deep; challenging it is likely to trigger many of you.
You’ve heard of “momma’s boys,” obviously. And, if you’re a man with any masculine instinct whatsoever, you don’t want to be one — even if you begrudgingly acknowledge you have some of the tendencies in you.
But Daddy’s Girls?
They’re the best! We love girls who love their fathers. They appreciate masculinity and love being feminine — and they know exactly how to treat a man right.
And so in a world filled with feminists who hate the idea of pleasing a man, you see guy after guy fantasize about this elusive “daddy’s girl”. These women are the ideal: sweet and sexual, sugar and spice, submissive and supportive.
I can see the hand wringing now:
“Pat I really don’t like the way you’re setting this up… I’ve been focusing on getting these girls for awhile now, don’t tell me there is a catch. Please Pat, come on man, there’s no catch right??????”
Sorry bro of course there’s a catch.
In fact this essentially sums “daddy’s girls” all up:
Don’t worry, I will explain why. But let’s track back to something you might understand a bit better first: Momma’s Boys.
Mommas Boys come in generally two flavors. The first is the obvious, extremely dysfunctional version that is essentially universally mocked. This is the single guy who is basically a loser and does whatever his mother says. He is completely cowed and subservient to her, and is utterly unattractive to other women.
What most guys miss though is most momma’s boys aren’t at all like that. In fact I would go so far as to say at least half (probably 80%) of your “manosphere alpha’s” and close to 95% of your PUAs who relish their latest conquest of “+1 Ukrainian refugee in Prague” are momma’s boys.
Because having good game and growing up a momma’s boy are practically synonymous.
I know this is bruising some egos. But you need to face the truth: seduction at its roots is the manipulation of the ego’s need for validation. When you “seduce” women you are playing with a woman’s fantasies. You are guiding her to view you as “the prize.” And you are learning how to do this because it’s very important to you that women perceive you in this way.
This is a tell you have grown up in the feminine frame. But caring about what women think of you doesn’t mean that you aren’t good at getting what you want from them. Some momma’s boys are bad at this (see example #1) but others become so finely tuned to meeting the needs of women — needs these women themselves didn’t even know they had — they end up being able to get whatever they want from them.
It’s not any different with Daddy’s Girls. These women know exactly what a man needs to get addicted to them. They figured out how to please daddy, and they know how to please you too.
The only problem? At its core this is all just Girl Game.
Daddy’s Girls aren’t the perfect girlfriends, they are just perfect at *seeming* like the perfect girlfriends. And the difference between the two of these comes to the forefront after the honeymoon phase transpires.
Just like male seducers enjoy the capture of a woman’s heart, female seducers crave making a man fall for them. The problem is once he does — once he says “you know, she really is great… maybe I will commit” — suddenly she pulls back. Now there are “problems”… she’s hurt about things you said or did, she’s “not sure how she feels anymore.” Demands emerge out of nowhere, and as you rush to meet them, she recedes further into the distance.
Red Pill guys are caught in a constant cycle because they tell you that you must date women like this, but also that you can’t commit to them for the aforementioned reasons. What they are telling you is your only hope is to “out game” her — keep the drama going indefinitely, never cede ground, and then and only then will you get “a woman’s best” without most of the costs.
I know the manosphere aka Peter Pan-land broadly says this is “the red pill ideal” — but this is not a real relationship. This is a desperate attempt to maintain a fantasy, and most of all to maintain control. These guys are pursuing relationships based on validation not on connection. This is at the root of their malaise, and why many of these “alphas” still cannot get past “female nature.” Whatever they say, what they truly crave is to connect with a woman. They have never done it before and it shows.
Daddy’s Girls are as afraid of connection as these guys, which is why they gravitate towards each other. Learn to discern: these women didn’t have a good relationship with their father; they craved his attention. Just because they are acting in a way that pleases you it doesn’t mean it is coming from a healthy place. There is a major difference between this role-playing and the submission that comes from a woman who gives up her heart only after careful consideration; only once she comes to know and trust you.
It is not just “your turn” with these women. The depth of your connection — the distinction between this and bullshit they are used to — marks them for life.
No doubt this red pill will pass untaken by most. The die-hards will deny the possibility of this love due to things like female hypergamy and solipsism. Leaving aside that a community obsessed with young and fertile women not giving them exactly what they want is the definition of male hypergamy and solipsism — let’s call this denial exactly what it is: Fear.
These guys fear getting emotionally close to a woman because they are afraid a woman might burn them.
And guess what?
They are right to be afraid.
Most men are like tourists in a jungle: they are asking to get bitten or eaten. They have no idea about their own emotions, let alone women’s. Even if they have the self-awareness to admit they do want to connect with a woman, they are incapable of doing it. Their attempt to connect — their “sharing of feelings” encouraged by the mainstream — is them just dumping their neediness on a woman, unconsciously demanding her validation.
Women hate to be used in such a way, and inevitably they leave. And so the guy, jaded about “female nature,” ends up hiding in the Red Pill longhouse: sucking the tit of the various Morpheus’ who all spout the same bullshit, warning him about “the truth” — there is no way to leave the jungle, stay on the path if you want to survive.
It doesn’t matter that all of this is a lie. The risks are real, so it feels true.
But my empathy for these men only stretches so far.
You have the choice to live like a coward and suffer consistent failure and dissatisfaction. You are allowed to settle for broken women, mind games, and superficial liaisons.
Or you have the choice to hire a guide to take you off the safe path and actually escape the matrix. To learn how to attract *and* keep the girl of your dreams — without having to hide who you are.
The freedom you seek lies beyond the red pill, because the freedom you seek lies beyond women.
But you will never find this freedom so long as you struggle to understand and connect with them.
So long as women hold the Sword of Damocles over your ego, you will remain their slave.
You need someone who will help you break the chains.
You need me.
Apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
For a taste of my coaching check out my rapid fire Q&A here I did with a few of the masterclass buyers.
