Something I was asked to comment on awhile back, but I’ve mostly avoided has been the topic of women and their “work husbands.”

The reason for this is fairly simple.

I find the term “work husband” stupid and it annoys me. Such a classic phrase to emerge circa 2022.

Nevertheless, it’s real and we must address it. So sarcastic comments aside… what is this phenomenon?

Basically, it’s a situation where a woman at work develops a close, “attached” relationship to a male colleague at work… usually due to proximity. They become super close… although most of their conversation is about work related jokes, situations, etc. At work functions they are fairly inseparable, but they don’t hang out really outside of it.

(Such a woman is a “work wife” to this male colleague, however you may want to find your balls if this is how you address your coworkers)

Anyway, the question most guys tend to have with this is… is it a bad thing? What does it say about a woman who has such a dynamic with a male colleague at work? Is it threatening?

The answer: Probably Not. But it depends.

Proximity is the biggest cause of cheating. And so if a woman spends most of her day around other men — and develops a close “working relationship” with another man — it’s certainly possible that this innocent dynamic might evolve into something less platonic.

But I would also caution about jumping to conclusions on the matter.

Women naturally enjoy male energy, and so they are inevitably going to form some type of warm dynamic with the men they are in proximity with at their job. Better that they are platonic. And frankly, while the term “work husband” on the surface is romantic, the energy of it is closer to “gay best friend.”

(Doesn’t say much for the erotic energy of husband these days… but I digress)

Even still, I would personally not like to hear my woman describe a colleague as such, even though I’d doubt she’d mean anything romantic from it — it’s a “friendzone” term.  The issue is more her emphasizing the importance of a “new guy friend” when she is in a relationship — providing another man any sort of prestige or label.

But terms are just terms. The main thing you need to worry about with your woman and her male work colleagues is if they are spending a lot of time together — especially if this means regular “after work” mixers, open-ended overtime, and (worst of all) business trips together. And of course, that she meets any questions about this defensively.

It’s one thing to have a banter-buddy during the 9-5. It’s another when she’s taking an all-expenses paid trip with that guy and only a handful of others, after she’s already been spending more time with him than with you… and clearly finds him “competent” and “funny.” Business trips are notorious for infidelity and promiscuity — even without a specific guy to monitor, you need to have your ears up in general when your woman goes on these.

That doesn’t mean assume a woman who goes on a business trip is cheating — that’s hardly enough to go on — but just be aware how tempting and convenient they can be. She a) away from her main responsibilities (being a good wife / mother), b) is experiencing novelty (often these “conferences” are more partying than work), and c) has minimal to no risk of getting caught. And if there is a guy at work she’s already had her eyes on, one thing could genuinely lead to another… even if she didn’t intend it going into the trip.

But again, if she’s calling the guy her “work husband,” she’s probably not interested in him — even if he is in her.

And at the end of the day, while you should keep an eye on such orbiters — and remind your wife not to lead them on — it’s your woman who you need to focus on at the end of the day.

Is she the type of woman who would cheat?

Contrary to what some claim, not every woman cheats — regardless of the circumstances in your relationship. There are some people that the chance of this outcome is effectively zero (they will just nag and complain, and eventually leave you).

Conversely, there are other women who will cheat regardless of how good you thought the relationship was. These women are promiscuous as a form of self-abuse, and punish every man who commits to them with infidelity as a matter of policy.

And then… there are the women in between.

Which type of woman is she?

Well, if you’re really wondering… it might just be a good idea to work with me. Especially if this a girl you’re considering marrying.

Because I know exactly what signs to look for. And some of the key ones are unfortunately not that obvious.

Apply here if you want to save yourself some time, money, and heartbreak: www.patstedman.com/application

– Pat