Relatively short email for you today. But wanted to touch upon a topic the great Nash brought up the other day, as I haven’t talked about it very much on here.
Poaching.
Nash lays the practical response out well. So I’m not going to elaborate too much more on that.
What I want to explain is why this response works so well… so you understand the “psychology” behind these sort of interactions.
Basically, when a guy goes to “poach” your girl, there are two traps:
a) Being too passive
b) Being too reactive
You cannot sit back and let the guy linger in your interaction, because he will blow up the set / date, and your inability to deal with the guy will come across as weak to the girl you’re with. If he’s talking to her, and you are doing nothing, she will gradually start talking to him… or at the very least, begin to lose her attraction towards you.
So you need to deal with him, one way or another.
But you also need to make sure you don’t come across as too emotionally fazed by him. If you are emotionally reactive you can be outflanked; he can make you look like the one who is “out of line” and even unstable. And, your emotionality can make the girl feel uncomfortable with you — especially if the other guy is calm and composed. In other words, it can work against you.
Which is why Nash’s response is spot on. You don’t allow this guy to hide behind niceties. You know exactly what he is doing. And so you calmly — but firmly — put him in a position to explain himself. It raises the tension dramatically, and embarrasses him. Yes it gets “in the mud” a bit… but he is the one more on the backfoot than you. As Nash indicates, this ability to handle more tension than him will usually blow him out entirely.
This is a direct approach. Another way of doing this is the “Nick Sparks” method, which doesn’t involve “calling him out,” but rather seeks to monopolize his attention, throwing him off of his pursuit of the girl. This is a more “indirect” and sneaky way of neutralizing him: you will basically ask him questions, and be the one most interested in him. You get him talking to you, rather than the girl, and ultimately invested in your approval. Then you wish him well.
Personally, I’m more of a fan of Nash’s approach in this context. It shows a healthy level of aggression and turf-protecting which is important — and arousing — for a girl to see. Nick’s approach is more designed towards situations with ambiguous dynamics: you and a girl are vibing in a group when said interloper comes in; you’re not yet on a date and so she is not “yours” yet. Aggression in that context would be less socially appropriate, and probably work against you.
Bottom line though…
You need to be prepared for this stuff to happen when you’re dating an attractive girl.
Most of the time, it won’t. Guys these days are too afraid to approach a girl when she is with another man.
But not knowing “game” and being off your masculine center is going to hurt you big time when it does.
The good news?
My masterclass covers all of these topics in depth.
And the even better news?
Guys who buy the masterclass will have the opportunity to join a private group and ask me questions upon completion of the course.
So yeah, in addition to the 18+ hours of material, you now also have access to an exclusive community on telegram.
Anyway, enough said.
I’ll see you on the inside…
– Pat
