Are Men Even Valuable To Women Anymore?

I am a regular reader of your newsletter from 2+ years. Today i got a doubt while seeing a tweet on timeline:

In earlier time women used to give birth, breastfeed and take care of child. Men used to breadwinner of family. So men has some value associated to them.

But in todays age women are also earning good amount of money. So what is the value associated with men now, how can they differentiate themselves.

It feels that in coming time mens only value will be to provide sexual pleasure to women

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This is a sad question, but I’m glad this guy asked it. Because it’s very much on the minds of men today.

Those of you on this list at least a month back will remember my “Why Pete Davidson Fucks Celebrities” email. Among other things, in that piece I addressed the idea that the media is pushing this image of elite men being basically glorified sex toys for powerful women. It is an insidious psy-op, because it takes a core interest of men — being sexually desirable — but leverages it into a sort of gynocratic slavery. It is a faustian bargain; the man is promised endless pussy, if only he would give up his manhood.

But as the poster posits… what else is the value of a man these days?

It is a logical question on the surface, and so it is understandable. But it is ironically this logic that is in many ways the problem.

In the past, relationships were fundamentally transactional. Sex for resources and protection. Indeed, this dynamic is practically dead in the west. But it has been dying for a long time. By the mid-1800s, while such variables continued to be relevant… romantic connection was increasingly growing in importance. It was less — or at least not only — what resources a man had; it was the chemistry between a man and a woman that mattered.

The fact that we are transcending this transactional dynamic is not the problem. It is a sign of the expanding consciousness of the human race.

Ask yourself: as a man, do you consider yourself only valuable based on the resources you provide? Should your ability to get your needs met be contingent on your pocketbook?

Saying yes to any of the above is an admission that you do not really find yourself to have any intrinsic worth — or that you are at a minimum cynical that women care about anything besides this.

Which would not be true.

The issue with the “men are only valuable for sex” angle is that it is not only not progress; it is inversion. Before men provided resources and used women for sex; now women provide their own resources and use men for sex.

Depolarized, materialistic women may want this, but it is not the norm.

What women want from men is connection. Yes, they want physical attractiveness, good sex, the ability to at least self-provision. They want it all, of course — us men do too.

But what makes the many women who are not in that transactional mindset crave a man in spite of their ability to “take care of themselves” is that they need a man to get their emotional needs of being understood and desired met.

In other words… they want a man to make them feel like a woman.

That is increasingly the point of modern relationships: Intimacy. Money and sex are commodities. Connection is not. Indeed, the inability of men to grasp this evolution in intersexual dynamics the past 50 years has caused much of the misunderstandings and divorces plaguing the western world.

If you hope to succeed with women today, you need to learn how to deal with your emotions. Because it is only emotionally regulated men that can give women the connection they are looking for.

The only catch?

You need to learn how to deal with these emotions AS A MAN.

When women want your emotions — they don’t want you emoting. They don’t want you acting like them.

They want you strong and masculine as ever… but capable of holding space for their feelings, and amplifying their femininity in the process.

It is not something most men are good at. Because almost NO men have learned this from their fathers.

The good news?

I can show you how to become such a man.

I don’t teach limp-wrist beta pussy boy shit. Nor alpha male emotionally repressed larper garbage either.

I teach integration. Emotional fearlessness. Spiritual leadership. Unbreakable strength and resilience.

As you master this, the relationship both you and your woman want inevitably follows.

Apply to work with me here: www.patstedman.com/application

– Pat