“I did coaching with Pat both one on one and in his group class, and it was the best coaching experience I have ever had! Before meeting Pat, I had received dating coaching from other dating coaches. Having grown up in a conservative immigrant family, I never dated anyone until college and even then, I met her online and it only lasted a few months. I never had success with dating or meeting girls besides that even through my four years of college. Moving to NYC after college, I sought out dating coaching to help me solve that aspect of my life. After doing coaching with two different dating coaches, who were both quite skilled at meeting women themselves, I felt on the verge of giving up. I was still failing to have success with women failing to get even a single date in three years. In the meanwhile, all of my friends around me weren’t even trying to meet women and would date multiple women per year. I started to feel that I was inherently inferior and could never get with women. Having worked in digital advertising, it seemed to me that I was analogous to an ad with no click-throughs, just a subpar man who didn’t belong and wasn’t meant to exist. Then I met Pat. I met him originally at a friend’s birthday party and at the time wasn’t doing well at all as a result of the above-described thoughts. Even there as just a friend of a friend, Pat was immediately really supportive and helped me put the irrationality of my thoughts in perspective. I then started coaching with Pat, which while on the surface being dating coaching, for me, was a holistic immersion into who I was and how I approached myself. Pat didn’t just help me with dating; he also helped me view myself in a different light from how interesting I thought I was to what I thought was possible for myself. He even helped coach me through my business when I was first starting up and had the very difficult situation of having to fire one of my best friends. Pat had made an unforgettable, irreversible positive impact on my life, and I am not sure where I would be today if I hadn’t met him. Okay, down to the brass tacks, what about dating itself. Before working with Pat, I had one relationship online and another date from Craigslist. Working with Pat, I learned many key things from small tweaks like my posture and how I walk down the street to bigger things like mindset changes and how to approach interacting with women more effectively and be masculine in the interactions. However, I will share the one biggest thing that made a difference for me: take things one step at a time. I know this sounds like an obvious rule, but I was so focused on the results because of how inferior I felt to others that every rejection felt painful and like I could never do it. When I began to focus on just worrying about getting each step-down and not judging, that is when I was able to start having breakthroughs in my interactions with women. Amazingly, suddenly many of my interactions with women just started to work even though I was just focusing on an individual step of the interaction. The net results are that before meeting Pat, I hadn’t been able to get a single date in three years. After meeting Pat, I met and got dates with 5 girls in one weekend of working with him and was able to meet and get dates with 3 more girls that same week after working with him. That was a high point, but since working with Pat despite having ups and downs, that mindset change and the other things he taught me have empowered me to take control of this area of my life and realize that I can meet and date women. Having the ability to make a difference and have agency was the greatest game-changer for me, and it couldn’t have happened without having Pat there to show me the way
Ashwin
