An interesting thread cropped up recently by Aella.
For those who don’t know her, Aella is an interesting character, and a testament to how you can succeed in any industry with hard work and intelligence. She’s a “cam girl” — but while pretty, she’s no bombshell. And yet she’s apparently one of the most well paid out there.
Anyway, her observations about men — like with many “whores” — is piercing. While the whole thread is on point, I want to draw particular attention to two points:
*attention is intense when on me, but easily moves away from me to other people
*the sexual interest seems like an *end unto itself*; as in, he takes joy in the present sexual tension, unrelated to if i turn him down or not… Most of this comes down to confidence and how much feels like it’s ‘at stake’ in his sexual energy. I love sexual energy that seems to exist for itself, for fun, and I feel trapped by energy that seems like it *needs me* to feed it, like I’m fuel for a cavernous void
The first one here is significant. Because it underlines a big picture concept most guys miss when they get immersed in the tactics of game:
Presence.
Most guys think presence is a matter of size, or social influence. In other words… preselection.
And of course, it’s true that these variables matter.
But behind presence is another word: Present.
Because the less present you are with a woman, the less attraction she will feel for you.
Women need to feel your focus. Because without your focus, they cannot feel your energy. It’s scattered and impotent.
This is why the guys who are WORST with women are the guys who are stuck in their head.
I go into this in detail in my masterclass. However I’ll just say this for now…
The reason one of my mentors, Nick Sparks, was so effective at getting guys good with women during his “infield bootcamps” WASN’T because he taught them some advanced level game.
But that he taught them to be PRESENT with a woman and to enjoy the sexual tension that develops between a man and a woman.
It was game that was in a certain sense anti-game. Because while he taught the crucial escalation points, and signals to look for… much of the “meat and potatoes” was simply slowing down and feeling a girl — sending out sexual energy to her, receiving it back, and moving things forward accordingly.
Which dovetails nicely into point #2 above. When you are able to give a person focused attention (which is simply energy), and then remove it cleanly to someone else… you can do the same thing with your sexual energy specifically.
In the modern era of distraction, where people are completely dissociated from their energy and can’t focus on anything, this ability to tap into and project sexual energy to a woman — and then remove it — is nothing short of a superpower.
It is the supreme show of sexual confidence. And women feel it viscerally in their loins when they experience it from you.
So slow down. Say less. Breathe. Feel into the moment with a woman. Enjoy it for what it is. Don’t be afraid to remove it, and then bring that focus to another. Test out who is and isn’t willing to receive.
And if you want a deep exploration of game and how to harness this sexual energy?
Buy my masterclass.
18.5 hours of material as we speak, and that will only get expanded after more filming this year…
(and with it, the price)
The link to purchase is here: https://masterclass.patstedman.com/sales-page
– Pat
