Short and sweet email today. But want to address a “popular fad” this side of Twitter — not simply no fap, but no ejaculation.
First of all, I want to emphasize I think it’s great guys are experimenting with this. It’s healthy to get in touch with your own sexual energy, and learn restraint.
However, there are a lot of misconceptions going around about “no ejaculation” that should be addressed.
The main one is it being lumped in with “no fap” — in the sense that since you lose energy from masturbating, the same occurs if you cum with sex.
But this isn’t exactly true. And can be understood from simple experience.
Masturbating — especially to porn — is an energy-extractive exercise. Pay attention and you will notice you feel drained afterwords.
There is not this same sense of depletion usually with sex, however. In fact, unless there is a poor / superficial connection between you and the woman, guys often feel much more level afterwords. They may be less aggressive, but they are not necessarily less energetic.
The reason for this, in the taoist understanding, is the difference between Yin and Yang energy.
Yang energy is masculine, Yin is feminine. And so while a man’s ejaculation indeed means he expels his yang energy, so long as he is having sex with a woman, he is also receiving a compensating among of Yin in turn from the woman. Which makes sex a way of balancing energy, rather than losing it.
But that didn’t mean the Taoists felt you should ejaculate — quite the opposite. They wanted a man to obtain as much energy as possible, as they felt this was the key to a long life but spiritual power.
And so what they recommended was for a man (in practice, a king or noble) to sleep with a harem of women, on after another — never ejaculating, while accumulating their energy. So he was not only “balancing” himself but expanding his own.
Many of the guys in the manosphere believe this is what they are doing when they don’t ejaculate. And to be fair, perhaps they are right.
But in practice most don’t know what they are doing. If you do not wish to ejaculate, you need to make sure you know how to move energy in your body. Otherwise your edging will not bring you closer to enlightenment, but will in fact clog up your prostate and potentially hurt you. And will probably make your sexual experience with women less enjoyable because you will be focused on not-cumming rather than actually connecting with your woman.
The point is that this is not a game for amateurs to play, and of all the manosphere fads it is probably one of the stupider ones. Not looking at porn is a good thing, not masturbating is reasonable, but unless you have the proper understanding of technique *and* your intentions are clear just let yourself cum with a woman (if you want to) and don’t stress over this stuff. Unless you are with a succubus (a sexually extractive woman, aka lust-driven) cumming during sex will not take away your power.
Anyway just a little PSA for you guys. I’ve been hearing too many stories of prostate issues and guys ashamed of doing something they were designed to do and that men have been doing since the beginning of time.
Focus on the fundamentals of being a man. Get in shape. Learn how to make money. Find out how to attract women. Live your purpose.
If and only if after all of this has been accomplished, if you feel called to go deep into spiritual and sexual mastery, then go ahead and learn non-ejaculatory orgasms and the rest in this advanced domain.
And as always, if you need help with women and establishing rock solid self-confidence and belief…
Apply to work with me here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
