FW Playboy put out an interesting tweet today in response to a question:
I don’t have much of a disagreement with the fundamental observation. Women on vacation are far more likely to hook up — anyone disputing this is naive and hasn’t travelled enough.
However, WHY they do this is a different question.
Women are unconscious creatures, and while they are also secretive ones, I’m not of the opinion most of them say to themselves “I’m gonna to use this vacation as an opportunity get fucked.” They tend to live in big cities as it is, and already have the capacity for sexual anonymity on a regular basis — especially with dating apps. Women in relationships, looking for affairs, are the exception to this rule.
Rather, the reason women have more sex while traveling is because there is an attitude such trips should be “fun” and an “adventure.” They are opportunities to “let their hair down;” to be spontaneous. And sex is inevitably downstream of that.
But it’s more than simply lowered inhibitions. Because the time away is limited, time constraints go out the window — along with standards. Women who would never consider certain types of guys (read: fuck boys) will even target them while traveling because they fit this fun/adventure profile — their long-term potential is irrelevant, maybe even a net negative.
These are Tier 3 dynamics — for the guy it’s about being in the right place at the right time, and conveying enough game she knows with you she’ll have a good time.
And believe it or not, it’s similar for guys — although many of them are much more overt about their intent. In a different place, away from the old energy of your usual surroundings, you can be a different person. Which means being more open to strangers, and being more bold about connecting with them. After all, you’re new in the area… why not?
Which is why one of the biggest things you should do in your early days of learning game is go on a trip to a different city. And practice.
Because what you may very well find, is that being in a different place FREES you to act like a different person — to finally embody that “attractive man” you were learning to become.
And it’s less a practical concern, than an etheric one. In a place like NYC, for instance, you can make yourself anonymous for your lifetime if you want to. It’s not that other people seeing you act different is necessarily the real concern. It’s that you feel different in your “home” than you do away from it. Cities have their own energy, and their energy affects yours.
So if you are trying to reinvent yourself, take a leaf out of the book of the traveling woman… and go on a trip.
Or better yet — move.
Take some space from familiar streets and familiar faces. And watch in the absence of their energy, a new one take form within yourself.
And if you want some help making this jump?
You should consider working with me.
There is nothing more important with a new beginning than getting the right momentum. And there is no way to get momentum than to work with a coach who’s led hundreds of guys through these “springs of their lives” before.
Apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
