Something occurred with a client recently I’ve seen happen countless times… and was worth expounding upon for you all.

I’m sure you’ve heard it before.

Sex in a relationship has dried up…

You make your feelings of frustration known. And the girl claims the reason is that “she doesn’t feel like you are fully committed to her.”

She wants, in other words, a ring… or at a minimum more intimacy and focus. That’s the reason she’s not giving you her sexual best.

Plausible, you might think. She’s a “good girl” — perhaps she doesn’t fully trust your intentions. Once she really feels you’re “all about her”… then and only then will she bloom.

But there’s only one problem…

If the issue was trust, why was the sex the most passionate and exciting when you first started dating?

Really underlines that women don’t much understand their sexuality, doesn’t it. And why you can’t take what they say about “what they want” at face value.

A girl dating you for a few weeks pulls out the sexy lingerie and lets herself go wild… while a girl dating you a few years feels like she can’t do that anymore because she “doesn’t feel enough trust.”

And yet, you might be surprised that what said woman is saying is not all that bizarre. Or even necessarily incorrect.

You see, irrational as it might be… a woman who is falling in love you very often trusts you MORE in the beginning than later on.

Because in the beginning of your courtship, she is dating a FANTASY of you.

You are this perfect guy who will meet all her needs and won’t ever let her down. You are giving and will give her everything she wants romantically.

And so she trusts you — or this fantasy of you — fully and completely.

Months and years later, however, once that honeymoon phase changes… perhaps her trust does too.

Now you are a real person. And so even though she has more experience with you, and should logically trust you more, she doesn’t. Because as another imperfect human with your own needs, now you are no longer meeting all of hers. Maybe you demand things of her, and it triggers her own issues. Maybe she starts to resent you… and so wants sex with you less than before.

(Read: Why Your Woman Stops Wanting Sex)

In other words…

She isn’t exactly lying, or even wrong. But she doesn’t understand that it has only somewhat to do with what you do, and that at the end of the day her inability to accept you as an imperfect person is the real problem.

Of course, this is a two-way street. And perhaps much of her own issues with you are because you won’t accept her. Mutual resentment kills intimacy like nothing else.

And so what can you do?

One thing I recommend: work with me.

I get to the heart of this resentment and either a) help to clear it out or b) give clarity over the actual long-term compatibility in the relationship.

Because you see… sometimes this resentment is simply a problem of poor communication; the relationship is quite robust at its core.

But other times, there is a deep incompatibility that makes the resentment endemic, and practically-speaking unsolvable.

Distinguishing between these two cases is essential.

Because you need to get “100% in” a relationship in order to fix it.

And if you’re only 99%… and can’t get that last 1% no matter what you do…

These problems just ain’t going away.

Anyway, enough said.

You can apply to work with me here: www.patstedman.com/application

– Pat