Don’t need to tell you that if there is any emotion that is shamed and suppressed these days, it’s anger.
Doesn’t matter whether it’s coming from mainstream propaganda, or your local new age spirituality group. Anger is an emotion of destruction. It’s entitled. And fundamentally, it’s dangerous. Men in particular who express anger are toxic, and a woman who has to deal with such a man is quite obviously being abused.
Now of course, I am not going to sit here and claim it’s healthy or constructive for you to start exploding at people. Even if the attacks on anger are excessive, there’s a reason it has the reputation it does: violence is inherent in anger, and it can be scary to deal with… especially if the person you’re dealing with is larger and stronger than you.
But anger isn’t all bad. In fact, if you are actually growing and healing… some degree of anger is necessary.
Because Anger is your “emotional immune response.” It is a signal your boundaries have been violated, or your needs have been ignored.
Which is why guys who “don’t get angry” are invariably guys who “don’t get what they want.” They have chronic emotional disease, where they bury their needs and pretend they don’t exist. They are in fact very angry; their anger is just suppressed, and presents itself as frustration and resentment.
(This is common with “nice guys” — why you’ll see these dudes claim to love a girl, but when she doesn’t reciprocate in the way they want, they end up being malicious and extremely nasty)
And so expressed anger is, in the context a moving through consciousness, a good thing. Anger comes after desire, and so a guy who struggles to get what he wants ends up growing when he can finally get pissed off about it. That is the beginning of him actually getting his needs met — because they are finally acknowledged.
I can’t tell you how many clients who are trying to attract women fail to execute until they decide they are PISSED at being bad with women. Even if they are angry at women themselves, it is healthy for them to “let it out” (with me). That anger washes out their fear, and is what allows them to take action and express their own desire.
It is what allows men who have not put themselves first, to begin doing so.
The issue with anger — as with all emotions — is thus not its existence, but rather whether or not it is chronic. Chronic anger, for instance, is an indication that needs are still not being met. It is like inflammation; when you get sick or injured, it’s healthy to have an inflammatory response, but it’s not healthy for that inflammation to be permanent. Angry people still struggle to get their needs met, they are just externalizing vs internalizing their emotions.
So get angry, but don’t stay angry. And know when and how to express it.
Easier said than done, I know.
Which is why you might want to consider working with me.
Because I will encourage and show you how to properly express “healthy anger,” while managing and redirecting unhealthy anger.
In other words… I will get you much better at emotional management. And will be a “safe space” for you to practice it.
So that when all is said and done, you will have full control over your emotions, and will develop into an integrated man.
Apply to work with me here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
