A controversial tweet came on the timeline today, with perhaps an even more controversial answer:
What do I think?
It’s not really a hard answer…
NO not all women are meant to wives. Honestly it’s a bit tedious that we even need to rehash this. It’s a mind-virus that exists in many trad men and women.
First, let’s state the obvious.
Prostitution is the oldest profession in the world.
This on its own invalidates the argument that “modern culture” is to blame for women not being “wife material.” The whore is an archetype among women and an unconscious impulse they ALL have. Some women get but a dribble of it. Others a flood. You are not going to be able to dam up the instinct of these latter women.
Second, while it is clearly worthwhile to make marriage and romantic commitment cultural priorities, women have different personalities. “Naturally suited to be a wife” is loaded with expectations that all women at their core — even assuming they want to get married — want the same kind of marriage. Does this mesh with reality? The full force of Madison Avenue and the political establishment tried to fit women in a box in the 50s and it didn’t work. You sure you want to try this again?
Some people who never seem to learn. They live in a fantasy land, where after the pendulum swings too far one way, they imagine the solution is swinging it back to the other.
Personally I am tired of this nonsense. People are tired of being told what to do. They are tired of being forced to be one thing or another. They are tired of being programmed — whether by nefarious forces or ones that seem to mean well.
What people simply need is the truth. “Ladies: this is how men work, and this is what they like. Don’t give yourself up sexually too easily, here’s why etc.” HONEST conversations between parents and children and society without the dichotomy of “get married ASAP and don’t have sex before then” vs “don’t forget to sow your oats before you settle down.”
Your projections about what women “are” or “aren’t” are products of issues you haven’t dealt with on your own, and your inability to deal with them only creates problems for future generations.
If you are a dogmatic trad dad the chances are 50% that your daughter will rebel and become a slut. You will polarize your girls into camps that represent the black and white nature of your mind. There is a trauma that comes from your need to control that is nearly as damaging as if you were to throw them into the world without any guidance.
There is no need to put a heavy hand on the issue once we remove the influence of the bad actors. Women are waking up on their own to the fact that being a slut only creates pain and separation. Most women do want committed monogamous relationships and will seek them out with the proper guidance. But not all — and not all at once. That’s the journey of some women and that’s OK.
You are going to get 80% of them anyway. At least, that’s what it was historically. In the 50’s they pumped it up to 90%. It lasted a decade before dropping rapidly to 70% where it’s plummeted under the new propaganda ever since.
That’s what happens when you use force: it backfires.
But fear not: it will happen again against this new regime. Nature resets itself.
So I do not see the need to make housewives out of whores. Let the truth reign freely and let people make their own choices with it.
Anyway, enough said.
In case you couldn’t tell I try to build different kinds of relationships with women than many other coaches.
Not one-dimensional ones. Not ones with “good girls” who don’t understand their own desires, nor “bad girls” who are self-destructive with them.
Women who can live with both energies.
Integrated women.
If you want to date one, or turn your current woman into one…
Apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat