Was chatting with a client the other day when an amusing yet tragic scenario came up.
First a little backstory:
My client is pretty good with women. Attractive dude, knows game and how to flirt. Girls often take an interest in him, and he tends to encourage them by “pulling back” exactly when he needs to, and getting them to chase.
It’s a good way of getting girls. These women tend to get obsessed.
The only catch?
They’re not often the type of girls my client wants. Less attractive, more desperate. Which is indeed a common result with this kind of standard PUA game. You get girls to “chase”… but are they really the ones you want?
And yet, while that’s an issue, it’s only a “first order” one. If you want a higher quality girl, you can simply pursue her more directly. Not a huge deal, right?
Well, not right actually.
Because there’s another “second order” effect of this sort of “get girls to chase you” game.
Which is that these lower quality girls begin to sabotage your attempts to get the girls you want.
Take my clients’ story as Exhibit A:
He’s at a party, and takes an interest in this girl. She’s attractive, they vibe well. He starts to make some moves, and she’s receptive. However, she’s not throwing herself at him. Like many women who know they’re worth, she’s let’s him push the interaction forward.
The only problem is that there’s ANOTHER girl there who he “gamed” earlier who sees this all playing out and feels threatened. So what does she do?
She THROWS herself at him.
And my client, because of the PUA “validation-programming” couldn’t say no to this girl and push her aside.
The end result?
He goes home with the girl he doesn’t like, and screws things up with the girl he did.
The point of this little tale is simple…
Attracting women is important, but just as important is KNOWING WHAT YOU WANT and HAVING BOUNDARIES.
The reality is that once you know how to get women, you have the “high quality” problem of women taking an interest in you that are TAKERS.
You need to stop sending out vibes to these women that you are available.
This is a difficult for the men who got into game because they felt unattractive to women. But it’s a crucial step.
Because otherwise these women will attempt to monopolize you because they feel like they have a shot. Which means they will get in the way of the dating life you want, and put you in a position where you really have to let them down.
Yes, boundaries are not just around “bad behavior” with women… but around behavior that involves unwanted advances.
As always, there are levels to these things.
And if you want some help with that?
The good news is my masterclass covers all of it and more.
18.5 hours covering deep work, red flags, attraction, dating, relationships, advanced esoteric concepts and practices…
It is called a masterclass for a reason.
And best yet? It’s fully deducted from coaching.
You can buy it here: https://masterclass.patstedman.com/sales-page
– Pat
