Short but sweet email for you on this Monday.
But I wanted to get this material on nagging out… because I think it’s a topic most men don’t really get.
Understandably, 100% of guys hate it. It is probably one of the most annoying things a woman can possibly do in a relationship. It is a VERY emasculating and feels to a man like a woman is treating him like a child.
(So… ladies in here, I don’t recommend you do it)
But WHY do women have this impulse, if it doesn’t get them what they’re looking for? Because let’s be honest… even if the man acquiesces, he never responds positively to it.
Well, it ain’t all that complicated really my friends.
Nagging is simply an attempt by a woman to FEEL MORE CONNECTION FROM HER MAN.
It is a woman’s (ineffective) way of trying to get a guy to be more present. To not simply or even really take care of certain tasks… but to get him to ENGAGE with her.
Nagging is like gossip; it’s a product of the distorted feminine, and is a proxy for a lack of receiving (or being able to receive) real love in her life.
Which is why when a woman nags you, I recommend you do the following:
1) Assess the truth of the nagging. Are you not present and prepared to take care of tasks? How much are you yourself leaning out, and inciting her to respond in this way. If you are, acknowledge it at least to yourself — self-awareness is a superpower.
2) Create boundaries around it. Nobody likes conflict, and I don’t recommend unnecessary escalation. But it’s important for you communicate how much it pushes you away from her. Tip: don’t get buried in the details of her nagging, which are probably erroneous.
3) Offer true connection instead. If you only do step #2, you are best case scenario gaining a tactical victory. And is it really a victory when you’re still at war with the woman you love? Give her what she needs, and what she’s crying for — your presence. Ask her if she feels like you care about her. I guarantee she’s gonna say no, or at a minimum give you a mixed message (“I know you do, but I don’t feel it lately”).
Follow the above, and you’ll vastly improve the communication and intimacy in your relationship.
But if your relationship is on the rocks?
Hate to say it but probably the above won’t be enough. If she’s emotionally stonewalling, if physical intimacy is infrequent, if fights are a regular occurrence… you should think of your relationship as if it has cancer.
You can’t just take a few supplements anymore, you need to see a doctor.
And guess who’s Dr. Love?
Me.
No I’m not cheap.
But I’m a hell of a lot cheaper than a divorce.
Apply here to avoid upending your life: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
PS New YouTube video just dropped. One of the best topics tackled yet. Subscribe, like and comment: 5/23/21 – The Black and White Magic of Attraction, Exciting Sex, The Feminism “Program”
