Some guy tweeted something very strange the other day, that I felt compelled to respond to:
Pretty straightforward, right?
If you aren’t attracted to someone, they aren’t your soulmate. Because (outside of the UK/Australia, ha) your MATE is someone you sleep with. And why would you be sleeping with someone you weren’t attracted to?
So you might wonder why I am even writing more here about this. It’s an open and shut case. People attempting to dispute this by throwing out extremely situational and rare exceptions are missing the point.
But I wanted to use it as a springboard to talk about soulmates, and this idea of “soul connections” in general.
Are they even a real thing?Many in the manosphere might scoff at this. But the answer’s undoubtably yes.
Why such certainty?
Because you can’t really explain some connections in any other way.
For instance, looks don’t cover why we’d fall for a certain girl. There are a lot of physically attractive women out there. Why this one?
“Oh, well it’s her femininity that does it” you might say. Well, first off… femininity is a general trait… and secondly, a lot of guys fall for women who are LESS feminine — who have a bit of fire in them — despite this being difficult and tedious.
Maybe they claim it’s her smell. But if you’ve been with enough women, you know that smell DOES matter with attraction… but that you can have a “lust” in this way for a girl and yet feel minimal connection to her.
So still grasping, people might say it’s attachment patterns. “You are working through trauma with each other — she’s anxious, you’re avoidant.”
This is better… but how many women have an anxious attachment pattern? Why choose HER to do “the work” with over someone else?
You might be starting to gather that there is NO “material” explanation that fully explains why we really choose to connect with one person over another.
You can look good, you can learn game, you can work on yourself. But you will STILL only click with certain people. And when it comes to romance, there will only be a handful of girls in your life that will really turn you on, or affect you emotionally.
And it’s these girls I consider “soul mates.”
They are people who came into your life, with certain roles to play for you — and you to them.
They are different, and they are special.
They are also NOT to be put on a pedestal. And aren’t necessarily in your life to make things easy.
This is where a lot of the “spirituality” people lose it and fail to properly understand. They fall into fantasy.
“She’s my soulmate” — or worse yet — “twin flame.”
Meanwhile 4/5 times they’re broken up in 3 months.
But even if it IS “true,” it DOESN’T matter.
You have a connection. You are together for a reason. Probably your souls have a contract with each other.
NO it doesn’t mean it’s going to be smooth sailing, or that any expectations should be put on it.
The label is useless. It’s only relevance is filling in a gap of “why her” that is impossible to explain by any other reason.
It can be easy to find these soul connections — which are not exclusive to the opposite sex, and are not necessarily sexual — if you’re in touch with your intuition.
We are regularly nudged by fate and synchronicity to do certain things, and to connect with certain people that absolutely transform our life for the better.
Most people are too afraid to pay attention to this voice. They say “well, this doesn’t make sense” or “it’s illogical” or “inconvenient.”
They fall into FEAR. And play life SMALL.
This is the opposite of how I live, and teach my clients to live.
And I’m at the point in my career where I no longer try to persuade such people to work with me.
If your intuition says “no,” don’t do it. Perhaps it is not me who is called to guide you to the next stage of your life.
But for many of you, perhaps it is.
Perhaps you continue to come back to it. “Should I work with Pat? Is it the right time? Is it too expensive? Maybe I’ll just think about it some more…”
Of course, you are welcome to think about it as long as you’d like. That is your choice.
But when something haunts you like that, from my experience… I would stop thinking about it and just do it.
In these cases there is a door there waiting to be unlocked.
And I’ve been the one entrusted with the key.
The money will seem like a bargain after.
Apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
PS Check new video on Age Gaps, Marrying Virgins and Taking a Break from Women