Saw a quote on the TL that I thought was very interesting:
“a woman does not know she’s attracted until she experiences jealousy”
A profound statement. But is it true?
My answer might disappoint.
But as always, it depends.
I know, I know. This is one of those “ironclad” red pill truths. A woman sees you flirting with another woman, and suddenly she wants you. Happens all the time, right?
Indeed it does.
Jealousy is a powerful emotion, especially with women. And it has its place in the “attraction tool box,” if we’re being practical.
But the statement goes too far.
Many women know they are attracted to a guy far before he does anything to make her jealous.
Chemistry exists for a reason. Jealousy after this attraction has been established might intensify her emotions… but it also might push her away.
Guys don’t want to internalize this for some reason… but women want to be desired. So if you are a cool, attractive guy, your personalities click, and you choose her — she will want you. The jealousy is unnecessary, and might even damage the magic for her, as it LOWERS her self-worth and can make her feel used.
This is because jealousy is a LOW CONSCIOUSNESS emotion. It is based on FEAR and LACK. If you are always wielding it to get girls, you will push away emotionally healthy women and draw traumatized ones to you.
That said, there are circumstances where jealousy IS necessary to create a romantic connection.
And that is when you are in the “friend-zone” with a girl, or have seen your relationship stagnate.
Speaking technically, it’s when you and a woman have comfort but the desire is lacking. Jealousy is one of the most effective ways of spiking desire out there. Like those electrically charged pads they use to resuscitate people in cardiac arrest, jealousy “jump-starts” a woman’s heart.
Maybe your wife has lost eyes for you, but when she sees a 22 year old giving you doe eyes… perhaps she remembers not to take things for granted.
Possibly a long-time “friend” sees you flirting with a pretty girl, and starts to worry she won’t have you to herself anymore. She suddenly develops feelings.
Many such cases! And it’s jealousy that gives women this emotional clarity. Fear isn’t a state of consciousness to live in, but it has the acute benefit of shaking someone out of complacency.
So try to make someone in fear, when they’re already in love… you’ve made a big mistake. An amateur mistake. And it shows you’ve only dated broken women.
Anyway, the point is that CONTEXT IS EVERYTHING.
Which is why it’s a shame to see guys use these maxims indiscriminately. Damaged and destroyed as many relationships as its saved.
What to do instead?
Work with me.
Because I’ll show you exactly when and how to use these concepts, so you become a master with women yourself… and avoid confusion and heartbreak.
Apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
