I try to keep my ear to the ground, and one thing is pretty clear:
Frustration is growing.
People want to go out and meet up. They want to start their lives again.
And if single, they want to get back to dating.
Problem is… all the normal venues are closed or are missing their former energy. And social circles are stagnant as half the people are too afraid to meet, or are not allowed to by local laws.
So dating’s been a struggle for most.
Of course, we don’t want to make excuses here. If you really want to meet women, you can. Cold approach still works, and women haven’t disappeared. And as Spring arrives, more of them are emerging from hibernation.
But it’s fair to say daygame is a niche skill that requires a lot of commitment to excel in. Some guys are enthusiastic about it, but many are not.Which leaves basically online dating.And let’s be honest:
It’s getting worse.
I’ve already written quite a bit on online dating. This guide will basically give you all of the fundamentals. If you do everything in there, you will be able to meet attractive girls online — even now.
But being blunt… the number of attractive, mentally healthy women on the apps is diminishing.
COVID has vaporized a lot of women’s brains, to the extent that you really have to question whether they remember what dating actually is.
FaceTime for instance is not a great way to develop a connection with someone. Nor is spending an entire date asking “safety questions” or investigating someone’s politics. This is what crazy people do.
My sense is that the sites are getting worse in large part because these people are taking them over. They’re too neurotic to meet people in the real world, so they swarm online. And then healthy people only see these people online and want out.
So does that mean online dating is dead?
Not exactly.
It means online dating sites are on their way out… or will at least never be what they were.
But social media is becoming the new online dating scene, because it’s where tribes are forming and people are having their conversations today. It is becoming a hybrid of online dating and social circle game.
Indeed, let me tell you a quick story…
One of my clients talks about a lot of things going on with men and society today. He’s got a prominent account on Twitter and an even bigger one on Instagram.He wanted to meet a girl that would check all the boxes. But he’s a niche guy. The girls online were either dull or the insane asylum escapees described above. And approaching on the street was also relatively low ROI based on where he is.
So I told him to start gearing his content a little more towards masculine and feminine dynamics. To talk more about relationships between men and women. And to engage more with female accounts who had similar feelings as him.
The result was within one month he met an attractive woman with more or less perfect alignment with him. They are now seriously dating, and there’s a good chance they will get married.
Now, it bears noting my client had a lot of material to work with off the bat. He didn’t have to build an account from scratch — it was already there, positioned well, just improperly leveraged.
But look at the results. And they are far from atypical. It’s becoming less of a joke and more of a common thing that people are “getting married from twitter.”
It doesn’t have to be serious relationship either. It’s been a known secret for awhile in online dating that if you want to 10x your results, you need to connect your dating app to social media. I have another client who is dating left and right because he has a cool instagram account.
Point is simple:
I understand some people don’t like social media… and I agree that we need to take these communities offline…
But these new communities are being BORN online. And you can’t get into them unless you develop an online presence.
So if you want to date, focus on creating a good online presence… and get used to expressing your values and personality. Get involved in the conversations.
You will profit with the ladies accordingly.
And if you want help cultivating such a presence and strategizing?
As something of an online guru myself, I can help.
Apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
