A about a month ago, one of the big daygamers on Twitter, @broodingsea wrote about the end of a fling he had with a girl.I recommend you read the post… it’s very heartfelt and genuine, and most importantly gives you a taste of REALITY when it comes to dating.
You see a lot of guys who post lay reports and show off their prowess… which is fine (if you’re at that stage)… but the reason I liked this post in particular was the subtext.
And what subtext is that?
That it’s easy to get lost in the game, and lose perspective of why you entered it to begin with.
“The Game” is ostensibly about picking up girls, and having “abundance” with women.
But the motivation is in fact deeper than that.
What guys are looking for is to have some sense of control over an area of their life that they feel very vulnerable about.
They want to be able to pick up girls, so that they won’t feel alone, and so that they won’t feel like they can’t have sex and intimacy when they want. They are on a mission to get their needs met.
And there is nothing wrong with that.
But certain girls come along that feel different than others, and complicate the simplicity of the numbers game. These women may not necessarily even be the hottest ones. But no amount of other women can compensate for them.
A lot of Pick Up Programming will tell you it’s “beta” to fall for these women, or a trap you need to avoid — “get over her, brush yourself off, do some more sets”.
While I understand the intention is to not dwell on things, it brings up a good question:
Does The Game exist for you, or do you exist for The Game?
The Game is a stage of life for many men, and I’d argue a necessary one. You must go from helplessness to agency to grow.
But if you are only covering up your feelings, at a certain point you are no longer growing. The Game that may have once changed your life for the better eventually becomes a mark of stagnation.
Point is… don’t lose perspective.
If the goal is meeting your sexual and intimacy needs, if it’s no longer worrying about women — then know when you’ve met a woman who meets these needs, that you can leave. Without shame, without fear.And if you want help on this journey?
Good news:
I work with guys not only in these first steps to approach and attract women, but in the later stages where they have met women they truly like, and want to make sure they establish healthy and happy relationships with them.
In other words… I work with clients throughout various cycles of their romantic life. Birth, death, and rebirth.
If you want me in your corner, apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
