It shouldn’t come as a surprise given my material… but pretty much all of my clients have been intelligent guys.
Some simply above average, others “galaxy-brain” tier (150+ IQ)
And yet, it’s somewhat strange that such men — so astute otherwise — would need help with women.
On paper you’d think they’d have an EASIER time given their success in other domains. Women are “simple” compared to software development, venture capital, etc…
But we know anecdotally in practice it’s usually the opposite.
The “nerd” or “dork” who is more intelligent than the rest of his peers, in fact almost always does worse with the women.(Even though women say they want intelligent guys)
Meanwhile, simple-minded people — even low-IQ criminals — tend to “clean up,” at least when it comes to sex.
There are, of course, multiple reasons for the latter.
“Bad boys” are bold, and their defiance tells a woman “this guy has confidence” (even if it’s actually coming from a sense of low self-worth).
But no need to get into the “alpha / beta” dichotomy, or explore very niche phenomena… overall there’s something much more basic going on here.
Smart guys have a hard time dumbing down their conversations with women.
They tend to be serious — they care about things that are intellectually interesting, but don’t turn women on.
(Exception: A woman is in the same field as you, and you are her superior — but even here the problems I’m describing will affect attraction over time)
They can’t LIGHTEN UP and ACT PLAYFUL.
Which is one of the ironies when it comes to game… because you have these intelligent dudes trying to figure out this “system,” or this approach, or this “hack” that “activates attraction”…
When all you really need to do is get out of your head… and get the girl out of hers.
It’s why silly “kid convo” — telling her she smells, thumb wrestling, making up imaginary stories — does the trick to open up her legs far more than discussing this new algorithm you’re designing and how it will change currency exchanges (or whatever).
Indeed, you might say the core problem with smart guys is that they have too much “head energy” and are not enough in touch with the rest of their body.
Their brain is reliable, so they depend on it… whereas “dumber” people tend to flow more in the moment, as they can’t process all these abstractions.
Girls can “let go” easier with these guys, because nothing is analyzed… it’s all impulse and emotion. It’s relaxing one moment, exciting the next. It’s fun.
So how do we reconcile this truth with the claim women value intelligence in men above almost anything else? Is this just bs?
Nope, but you need to understand the difference between sparking attraction and maintaining it over a lifetime.
What I’m about to say is controversial, but I need to represent my kings here.
Simple-minded, physically attractive guys are easy for flings, but their predictability and vacantness bores women over time.
An intelligent man, in contrast, has ENDLESS potential for introspection and psychological exploration.
His mind can be a mystery to a woman; his intellect can provide endless ideas for their romance.
He just needs to learn when to show this “deep” game off, and when to keep it light.
And he needs to internalize that in the beginning of a love affair, the lightness is usually the key to spark the fire.Understand:
Women need you to be strong and masculine to give them the space to be feminine. They need to know you are reliable, that you can provide, that your potential is there.
But sometimes you need to bring some feminine energy yourself — to goof around like a child, seduce them — to coax that femininity out of them.
Anyway, enough for today.If you’re a smart guy struggling with the ladies, apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
