Was exposed to an interesting thread the other day worth commenting on:
Unsurprisingly, I don’t really disagree with the fundamental content of the thread.
As my good friend Hutton has said: “the sexes win or lose together”
Anyone promoting better understanding between men and women — with acceptance of differences, and without judgment — is a good person in my book.
And the reality is, she cuts to the quick of why the seeds were planted for feminism to bloom… and why so much of the feminist movement has missed the mark and ultimately made things worse.
It’s because of BLACK AND WHITE thinking. About a “either/or” mindset rather than the “yes, and…” one.
You see, there is a difference between DISTORTED MASCULINITY and MASCULINITY.
Masculinity in its healthy state is designed to GUIDE and GROW other people.
It leads via TRUTH. Its authority is derived from alignment, and its ability to provide alignment to others.
It leads by example and integrity.
Distorted masculinity, however, is authority that lacks integrity or honesty in some fundamental way.
While there are many aspects to distorted masculinity, it’s generally defined by one thing: a need for CONTROL.
And behind that need for control is invariably some level of emotional repression… which is why they will try to force others to do as they demand.
They lack internal control, and so they require it externally.
Which is why men who have a DISTORTED masculinity are oppressive and very often cold to women in their lives.
They lie to themselves, and so their leadership is based on a lie. But due to strength, they force their incongruence onto those under them.
Understand, this is where feminism gets its propaganda from about “male oppression.” They have taken the distorted masculine and tried to make it into masculinity as a whole.
(Just like a very sad and vocal corner of the red pill has done with the distorted feminine — but that’s for another time)
And yet, all lies are based on a kernel of truth. When women have to deal with guys who don’t understand their own emotions, they end up living a half-life of sorts. They are not able to feel fully expressed, and so they tend to descend into low-conscious outlets for their own desire to feel understood, through things like gossip and drama.
They create an energetic pole to the male, descending into vampirism and deceit rather than support and devotion.
The harsh truth for guys in the manosphere to hear is that in many ways women have taken the lead in integrating these parts. They have been exploring their own independence, allowing themselves to feel a more wild femininity (this is much less true in the mainstream, but in “hippie” communities certainly)…
The depolarization we see from a lot of sexual dynamics today is because men have not been able to rise to their own “third position” — which creates imbalance on the whole, as women can only go so far without men.
In layman’s terms, yes, men need to regain their masculinity… but they also need to become emotionally and psychologically aware individuals who stop projecting their bullshit onto the women in their lives.
Because in the 21st century, the truth is most women are not going to tolerate being led by any other such men.
They are tired of guys who “demand” this or that treatment without putting in the inner work.
Which is why I recommend you start taking this deep work seriously.
You simply won’t be able to have an elite relationship without it.
And if you really want to “get it done”?
Work with me.
You can do some of this work on your own. And you should.
But we call them blindspots because we can’t see them.
Expand your vision and your understanding here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
