Question #1:
Hey pat i just saw your tweet and wanted to ask you something. I dont need money or so i just need some good and sustainable non red pill relationship adviceIve been with my girl for 2 yearsIm 22 shes 20
She has an anxiety disorder and kinda low self esteem
Around a year ago i started a new job in finance. I was surrounded by a lot of non ethical people and got sucked into it and did a very dumb and very weak thing
I unfollowed her on my second insta account and went on to follow some instahoe (that i tbh not really find hot, its just that doing was so engrained in me because ive been doing it for years when i was single, it gave me comfort in uncertain times). This instamodel had way bigger boobs than my girlfriend and now she thinks that its that that i want. She has lost a lot of confidence and is really insecure. She doesnt trust me and thinks that my porn addiction will come back as well. Like it did in december.
What can i do? I love her and i dont wanna loose her
.——Well, first rule is that you don’t want to date girls with low self-esteem and anxiety disorders.
But if you break the first rule you need to follow the second: don’t let these women control the frame!
Yes, it was dumb to do what you did following that thot account. But the WORST thing you did was allow your girlfriend to make this about YOU making it up to her.
That is a NO WIN SCENARIO under EVERY circumstance.
Apologize, sure. Admit it was dumb.
But THAT’S IT.
If she continues to guilt trip you about it, tell her you don’t think it’s going to work and end it.
Right now you are qualifying yourself to someone who is not interested in resolution but in making you LOWER yourself to her. When you start thinking “I don’t want to lose her” is when you lose her.
Remember your value. She needs to move on or you need to.
——
Question #2:
I was dating a girl for 4 years while in school,i like her a lot and she does too, but the issue is I’m working on myself now and trying to get fixed up with my job and business plans so i need advices on how to gandle it if you were in my shoes
Shes in school now , i speak to her mum often , but u still feel my lack of financial stability might make me lose her what do you think is the best advice you can give me in handling such situations cos honestly I really need to know.
——
My response is similar to the above:
STOP THINKING ABOUT WHETHER YOU WILL LOSE HER
This mindset is so cancerous, especially in a situation like this one where you are doing literally everything right based on your position.
If she wants to go, LET HER.
Most young women are DUMB. They look for a guy who is fully established rather than bet on one who is moving forward.
These women lead SHIT lives in almost every case, because they are selfish and impulsive.
A good woman is not interested in a guy who “has” things, she is interested in a man who can get them.
Read that again:
A good woman is not interested in a guy who “has” things, she is interested in a man who can get them.
If you are becoming that a man, a woman worth keeping will see it and enjoy the ride.
Consider yourself lucky if she decides to leave for something “easier.” Nothing worthwhile is handed over without effort and faith.
Stay the course brother. Whether it is her or someone else, you are on track for a good woman.
——
Question #3:
Hope you’re well and riding out this storm. I don’t know if this is of interest to your readers, but I was wondering if you could elaborate on the last part of this email. It sounds exactly like what went wrong in a recent relationship, or attempt at one. Relevant detail: I was 48 and she was 28, so there was a major age gap. Everything from here down. Thanks!
——
[Note: This is related to my previous email on asking a girl to get more serious.]
I don’t know the exact details of your relationship, but the age definitely exacerbates the situation.
And for a couple of reasons…
You see, many women LOVE dating older men. They’re more confident and established; the maturity and extra dominance is refreshing.
But for many of them, this “age play” — especially when the gap is as large as 20 years — is not something as appealing for them to commit to, because you start to have to think about the different priorities and stages of life.
Sex is fine, dating is fun. But once you go into a relationship, marriage suddenly becomes a real option to consider.
And if a woman is not onboard with marrying into your stage of life, and all that that entails… she will block any attempt for things to get more serious.It’s a shame, but that’s why I think my half + 7 rule is a good one for relationships. The “stage of life” thing really starts to block things after a certain point.
——
Question #4:
Well, I’ve always been a relationship kind of guy. I enjoy women, love every moment with them. But lately I’ve been doing the casual thing.
It’s new to me, and I do enjoy it. But they are only interested in casual things. While I am okay with that, I’m looking for more.
I’m at my best when I have a woman in my life. But all I have now is flighty women that only want me to fuck them. I’m not sure what I am asking exactly. Am I fishing in the wrong pond?
Should I continue as I am and hope that one of these thirsty motherfuckers is waiting to be saved?
Or am I approaching the situation with the wrong expectation?
I appreciate any feedback. I know I’m not being as clear as I could be.
——
This is a great question, though yes, to answer it effectively would require a bit more context.
Which pond is the reader dating in? What sort of women is he dating? What is he doing?
I don’t know the answer to these, though it sounds to me like part of him is NOT onboard with his objective… because if you are attracting something you’re not looking for, part of you ALWAYS wants that.
That’s something I’d investigate with him on a coaching call.
But, playing around with other things here… there’s also a good chance the guy has another “high quality problem.”
He’s very good looking, but his game is a bit lacking.
And here’s why:
Women categorize men into 4 different categories.
Freak, Friend, Fuck, Fantasy.
The freak is unappealing on all levels. The friend creates comfort. The fuck creates desire. The fantasy embodies both.
A lot of guys think the “fuck” is where you want to be… but here’s the thing… if all you do is create desire, women will want to fuck you and then be done with you.
They do NOT see long term potential in you.
They want to “get their notch” and move on.
This is true with any kind of preselection, but most especially the two types of preselection that create the most desire — physique and fame.
And these girls go FAST because they don’t want to really see you much later.In contrast, most girls who see you as a fantasy will actually try to slow things down… at least a little. Because they don’t want you to think of them like a “quick fuck.” They want to lock you down, and let the tension build up.
——
Anyway, those are the questions for now. Feel free to hit me with some more for next week’s “reader mailbag”
But in the meantime, I STRONGLY recommend you get my masterclass
I will let you read the sales page for the full story behind it.
But I cannot emphasize this enough.
There is NO better time you will have right now to review this material than now.
***THIS IS THE TIME TO GET YOURSELF READY FOR DATING***
When this quarantine is over, women are going to be RABID to meet men.
They will be sex and attention starved.
There will be a window of opportunity unseen where all of these single women are going to be EXTREMELY receptive.
It will be the energy like it was after the end of WW2.
BABY-MAKING BOOM
PLEASE do yourselves a favor and be prepared.
All masterclass purchases are deductible with coaching as well, so if you preferred to work with me — there is literally no loss.
Get it here: http://masterclass.patstedman.com/sales-page
– Pat
