One thing that really irks me about so many of the internet larpers, ebook scammers, and dime-a-dozen “love experts” is the ignorance and arrogance that their simple, one dimensional formula will solve all of your romantic issues.
Guy who learns how to take girls home after meeting them knows “the secret” to owning a woman’s heart.Guy who married his high school sweetheart knows how to attract women instantly.
The dating experts know dating, but act as if these skills translate directly into relationships.
The relationship experts know relationships, but act as if these skills translate directly into dating.
And the truth is by and large, they DON’T.
The things that attract a woman when you first meet her are very different that the things that cause her to fall deeper and deeper in love.
In other words…
Getting a girl is very different from keeping a girl.
Because getting a girl involves playing to fantasy, while keeping her requires expressing authenticity.
Sadly, most guys can’t manage this transition.
They get used to the games, the flirtation, the mystery… and think this will keep a girl in his orbit forever.
Meanwhile, the guy who’s recently out of a relationship thinks that showing all his cards to a girl he just met is going to get her interested.
When of course, neither of these things are true.
Not that the player should lack authenticity, or the patriarch mystery.
But it’s important to understand that romance has a life cycle.
And the things that spark attraction are not the things that deepen it.
Think of it like a fire.Starting it requires kindling — sticks, straw, twigs.
But keeping it burning requires logs… much more robust material that has more “fuel” but can’t be accessed until enough heat has already been developed.
Which is why I work with both dating AND relationships.
Not only because this gives a “full-spectrum” understanding of attraction that actually helps me to understand better both fields.
But because it allows me to help guys throughout the lifecycle of their love life.
Something, as far as I am aware, very few other coaches do. And is of quite a bit of benefit to clients.
Because if one of them comes to me struggling with his dating life… and soon thereafter gets into a relationship.
I can help him anticipate possible problems and start his relationship on the right foot.
Or, if a client comes to me in the midst of a failing relationship… I can not only help him navigate that transition, but get him back in the dating market.
Anyway, think you get the picture.
If you want my guidance, apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
