It’s common knowledge most women love the finer things in life.
Women are attracted to rich men, women care disproportionately about fashion, and of course, most consumers are women. And so there has always been this tension in the male provider-paradigm that a woman wants to spend things a man earns, and doesn’t think so much about the work that went into producing it.
Generally speaking, there is some truth to this, and economic data reflects it. Women do not seem to be as good on average at saving and long-term planning.
But the truth is that material things are not really what women want.
Women spend more, but rarely do they truly enjoy the fruits of this spending… because the spending is a panacea.
What women ACTUALLY want is to a) feel LOVED and b) not feel BORED.
“Money” is just something to make them feel special (an emotion marketing teams work very hard to cultivate) and to distract them from regular mundanity.
Indeed, you’ll notice that women who tend to care about superficial things come from backgrounds where genuine love was not regularly expressed and attention was not regularly given.
These women don’t know either how to give or receive love, so they seek out the proxy of money to make themselves feel SOMETHING.
But the truth is all women will also start to default to spending in the absence of genuine love and quality attention in their relationship. If they feel bored of the guy, or if they feel ignored (or both), they are going to demand more money. Which is why “money issues” in a relationship are not simply about communication, and not even about values, but ALWAYS about deeper romantic dynamics.
Because women who love a man, who are excited by a man… they don’t care about his wallet. There is in fact considerable evidence that broke guys with game get laid by more attractive women than your average well-off guy.
(There have been some good memes floating around comparing Bezos’ new girl to the ones a 24 year old living in a rathole NYC apartment gets)
The point is that while it’s a smart move to not commit to a woman who only cares about money and status… you should remember that if a woman is giving you shit about being cheap, there is a good chance you are not creating a compelling experience for her.
When a woman feels your love, and feels that being with you is an adventure, she will care VERY little about the amount of money you are throwing at things.
And if you want to learn how to (re)create those feelings of love, and ramp up the excitement?
You should probably apply to work with me.
Because that’s exactly what I’ve done in my relationship, and it’s exactly what I’ve done with scores of clients.
Apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
