Was speaking to a client today and an interesting topic came up.
One I have not thought to discuss much, despite its importance.
The background:
When my client and I started working together, he wasn’t meeting too many new women, and had been consistently settling for “meh” looking girls who went after him that didn’t really turn him on.
Fast forward a few months, and unsurprisingly, he’s been doing much better with women. His social network has not only been reinvigorated, but he’s become the “top dog” everyone considers the life of the party.
Attracting women has gone from a passive thing he had little control over, to something almost automatic.
And so after a few months of enjoying the single life, he became exclusive with one of the girls he was seeing — a quite attractive one he had a particularly strong connection with.
Everything was and is great between them. No drama.
And yet after a recent party where an old flame showed up, he became a bit confused about their budding relationship.
Why, you might ask?
Because a girl that he had a crush on for years showed up, and surprisingly to him, was all over him.
And so now he’s not so sure about his current girl.
Should he break things off with her and pursue this old flame?
My counsel:
A resounding NO.
But not because the current girl he’s seeing is necessarily some sort of long-term catch, that he shouldn’t jeopardize.
(Truth is there are some unanswered questions about her, not germane to this email)
Rather, because this “old flame” is a cunt, and she doesn’t deserve his presence let alone his interest.
You see, this girl has known for a long time my client has been interested in her. These little aborted, testing-the-water flirtatious overtures don’t go unnoticed to women.
Yet she was only interested NOW, at that party. This is due to 2 reasons:
a) My client has learned better game, so he has more appeal than he used to.
b) My client brought his girlfriend to the party, and this girl — seeing her old admirer had a new lady — wanted to see if she could still exert her power over him.Which apparently to an extent, she does.
Understand:
Contrary to dumb media propaganda, women are VERY competitive. They collect both quality and quantity of men, so when an old orbiter’s stock goes up and gets snatched up by another girl… they do not like to let it go lightly.
This doesn’t mean that they will overtly pursue the guy. But they know the old psychological triggers and push them… just for fun. They LOVE taking what other women have.
The lesson here is important:
Do NOT fall for the games of these women who care very little for you and everything about the validation you can give them.
There is a transitional period for many guys who are on this self-improvement journey that is precarious. It is the point where men who have thirsted after women and struggled to get what they wanted finally learn what works… but have not yet internalized the mindset that they are the person of value — not the woman.
Indeed, it’s a trap many of your garden variety “gamers” not only get into… but never find their way out.
They go after women because the women are attractive and are potential options… even if those women are all games, and could really give two shits about them.
In other words, they treat themselves like they are some plaything of a broken woman, and bring themselves to her level… rather than LAUGH at her and her pathetic attempts to get your attention.
Anyway, maybe some of you don’t agree. Maybe you think it’s always about getting hot girls… even if it means humiliating yourself by giving trashcan girls what should be your valuable attention.
Oh well.
I don’t pretend to be everyone’s coach.
But for those who want to attract good women and have healthy relationships…
Apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
