The other week, something that doesn’t usually happen occurred that was a bit disappointing.
A client who had signed up to work with me backed out on his word, and bailed.
Of course, this wasn’t much of a surprise. I could see this happening in real time.
The lack of follow-through in what we agreed on.
The tepid response to texts.
His reason?
He decided to work with someone local instead.
Bummer.
But to be fair, of all the reasons not to work with yours truly, this one is probably the best.
You see, there is ONE negative about my business model.
Because coaching is over the phone and online, I can’t take guys out and observe them in real time.
Local coaches and those who do bootcamps have this tactical advantage. Because even though I can diagnose 90% of mistakes a guy is making based on how he sounds, and through asking questions about scenarios… there is always another 10% that a guy who is there in person will see, that I will not.
A subtle movement in an approach that the client is not aware of. A lack of vocal projection, or talking too fast. Stuff like that.
Things only a third-party observer could witness.
Which is why very soon I’ll be collaborating with another guy who is in that “stage of life” to provide this service to guys here who are interested.
Because I do see the value.
That said, as someone who has hosted and experienced both in-person and phone coaching, there are TWO major drawbacks with the former.
First, it is almost entirely tactical. And in the case of bootcamps, usually temporary.
Yes, you get pushed out of your comfort zone, which is great. You learn some things you’re doing wrong. But after the weekend the feedback ends or is significantly diminished. Which is why the vast majority of guys who go through bootcamps end up reverting to the mean after a the post-bootcamp “high.”
Second, the coaches who are good at the above are almost always TERRIBLE at the deep work which causes a rewiring of your beliefs.
Which in my professional opinion is an extreme net-negative.
Understand:
80% of the reason guys struggle with women is because they have flawed beliefs.
These beliefs can be oriented towards their own self-worth, towards women, or can be simple misconceptions about the attraction process.
The point is — your average, or even above-average local coach is not going to be able to address these problems… and is in fact likely even perpetuate them further.
Because guys who are focused on “approach, attract, close” rarely consider the assumptions that make attracting women an issue to begin with. (Indeed, this lack of introspection is why they have spent the past 5+ years doing nothing but trying to sleep with random women.)
The benefit of working with me is that I don’t simply teach you useful tactics. I change the way you think and feel all together.
But maybe that’s not important to you.
Maybe you just want someone who is going to help you “drill”, not reconfigure your entire lifestyle and beliefs.
Which is fair enough.
Just be sure consider coaches based on your priorities.
For those whose align with my talents, apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
