The other day I received a brief question from a reader regarding a previous email:
“Men want to be admired; women want to be desire.”
Could you explain this a bit more, the difference between being admired and desired? Or do you have an article you could point me to?
——
I don’t have an article addressing this, unfortunately. Maybe I’ll produce one in the future that goes a bit deeper into the topic. Interestingly enough, however, a similar question was brought up in the client group just a few weeks ago. So I will repeat some of what I said there.
Understand, of course, that men and women BOTH want to be desired and admired. These are universal human aspirations.
But the emphasis in each sex is different due to each sex’s different roles and polarities.
The feminine is something that is taken. It is penetrated. It seduces the masculine, which grows through conquest.
The feminine needs to be enticing in order to be pursued by the masculine, which is why the feminine prioritizes desirability. A woman might like to admired based on her character, conviction, or deeds… but sexually what makes men want to be with her is that she catches the attention of a man — that she stimulates his masculine energy.
This is why all women that care about men care about how they look.
In contrast, the masculine is something that takes. It penetrates. It is seduced by the feminine, which grows through surrender.
The masculine needs force of will in order to be acknowledged by the feminine, which is why the masculine values admiration.
A man will certainly enjoy knowing that a woman finds him desirable, but unless she surrenders to his frame, he is a plaything to her. Many handsome men who have lacked this core have learned this firsthand. Feminine energy is stimulated by a men who lean into their edge… who challenge, who dare.
This is why all men who care about women care about how they act.
A man must lead, and leaders both protect and push into the unknown… two acts that implicitly cultivate admiration.
And if a man doesn’t do these things?
Well, he can’t expect much enduring love from a woman.
Yes, in modern, feminized society a man can benefit quite handsomely from inverting this paradigm. Of seducing, of being the object of desire.
But this remains only a temporary tactic, and not a long-term strategy.
Anyway, perhaps I will talk more about this another time if there is interest.
The truth, however, is that these concepts are very nuanced. The application of them is what matters.
Men misconstrue tactics and strategy, they don’t understand the difference between game and being a man.
The only men who don’t?
Some naturals, I’m sure.
But I’m referring to my former clients.
Because even though they might come in with ZERO understanding of women, after working together they “download” a completely different awareness not only the fairer sex, but themselves.
Their behavior changes. Their belief changes.
And with that, their results with women… whether they are dating or patching up a current relationship.
Those who want to join in their success, apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
