It’s no secret: women are making a lot more moolah today.
And so more and more guys are getting a little more self-conscious about their financial situation.
Hypergamy dictates that women only date across and up.
So what to do if your bank account isn’t looking so pretty?
Well, a little context to the above lads.
Yes, it is true that women love rich guys.
(Read: Why Women Love Rich Men)
But, there’s a lot of context to it.
First, your age.
20-24:
Your financial situation doesn’t matter that much to women. You’re just starting out. To the extent women in your age range are going to be judging you at all, they will be judging you by your ambition, by your potential success, rather than your current one. Women in this demographic are generally still in “fun mode”… they’re picking guys primarily by their looks and game. AKA you can grab a girlfriend even if you’re a bum.
25-29:
Money starts to matter a bit more. You still don’t have to have a lot, but your potential income needs to be more than aspirational. What concrete steps have you taken? This means solid career ladder, working on a business, getting high-end certifications / schooling. If you were coasting before, that needs to come to an end now.
30-34:
Money matters. If you’re not making it, or haven’t shown you can make it, women are going to judge you and start to screen you out. Your potential income can still compensate for lack of tangible income, but there needs to be clear signs that success is incoming. If it isn’t, you’ll start to struggle with women. It’s recommended at this point the vast majority of focus go towards changing this reality.
35+:
Money is an essential precondition. If you can’t provide, if your income is meager, you’re out of the market. (The only exception: Bartenders)
Though note that there is some calibration based on your dating niche, your dating niche.
For example, if you’re in Manhattan, the above timeframe is pretty much non-negotiable, perhaps even too lenient. In many parts of brooklyn, perhaps not so much… because the women there are more alternative, bohemian, and tend to care about cultural signaling more than cash.
There are a LOT of hipsters, for instance, who don’t have too much going for them but still get laid, because they’re dating women who also don’t have much going for them. Art / music scenes tend to be similar. Note that these women eventually get tired of these men too, but many will still date said guys into their late 30s and early 40s.
So remember all of this, including what is considered “successful,” is all relative to the demographics. The trendline is the same wherever you are, but certain scenes are going to place more value on different areas of preselection.
My advice if you $ isn’t in the right place?
Guys in their 20s
DON’T go through some dumb “monk mode” bullshit. I have never met someone who did “monk mode” that wasn’t depressed. It’s a rationalization to socially alienate yourself. Your 20s are a magical decade for dating and making friends… and you don’t need much cash to capitalize on this.
That said, you DO need to start thinking about your future in your 20s, and act accordingly. Now is the time to TAKE RISKS. You can afford to fail, and women will forgive you if you’re not doing too well financially. But make sure you are not putting the pieces in place to move forward in life… everything compounds during this decade. Coaching, experimenting, mentorship has its greatest ROI during this time.
Guys in their 30s+
Simply put, if your financial situation is not figured out, your focus shouldn’t be on women.
Your ability to provision is a key determinant of whether or not you’ve made it as a man. Women are going to be very skeptical about why a guy who is 30 and certainly 40 cannot provide for himself.If this is you, DON’T beat yourself up over the situation. But understand it’s imperative to deal with.
Now is the time to prioritize.
And if you’re 30+, struggle with women, and do have your cash situation figured out?
You would be STUPID to not invest in coaching.
Yes, the biggest ROI is for guys in their 20s. This is true with everything in life. It’s harder to change as you get older. So if you’ve got cash in your 20s, coaching is a no-brainer.
But if you’re over 30, the costs of not doing it is MUCH higher.
I’m not trying to be dramatic with this, but it’s really got to be said.
Money can be replaced. Time cannot.
And from a romantic perspective, time becomes more and more precious as you move past 30.
The purpose of money is to buy time. So when you have money but lack time, you would be a fool to NOT use the former to save you some of the latter.
But I’m beating a dead horse at this point.You will either “get it” or you won’t.
Those that do can apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
