One of the most popular books in this corner is the vintage tome, The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida.

The book is indeed a must-read. I recommend it to all of you.It’s a very deep book. I reread it every two years, and every time I draw more insight out of it. There are truths in there that you will misunderstand, or overlook, depending on where you are at. Some wisdom you just cannot receive until you are in the right place.

(This happens very often, by the way, with my haters. They don’t “get” that there are levels to the game)

One of these pieces of wisdom is the idea of dealing with conflict with a woman.

David uses the analogy, one of my favorites, of the masculine grappling with the feminine, as a boat sailing across the ocean.

The feminine is the ocean. It can be beautiful, with calm seas, a lovely breeze behind you. A pleasure to sail upon.

Or it can be a storm.

And when the storm hits, as a man, you either navigate it… or you sink.

Guys say “aha” when they hear this.It’s very poetic after all.

But then they throw out the common, regurgitated advice you hear over and over again in the ‘sphere.

“Do not tolerate bad behavior from her. If she’s angry, don’t take her shit — leave.”

Now before I attack the above, understand I know it has validity. There is always a context to these things.

I do not at all suggest that men deal with emotional abuse, and certainly not physical.

Women NEED to feel your boundaries, they NEED to understand there are lines that cannot be crossed if they want to be with you.

That said, feminine creatures have MOODS.Emotion, energy erupts when it flows through them.

They are nature — breathtaking and dangerous.

They are not like men who ground the emotion (and too often, repress it).

And so when a woman gets upset about this or that — often because the man does not UNDERSTAND a woman’s needs — the man retreats.

He sees the blizzard, and rather than press onto the summit, seeks shelter.

Which in the case of women is a BIG mistake.One I’ve made many times in the past… and learned my lesson from.

We talk a lot about tests, but we forget that one of the biggest frame tests is our ability to handle a woman’s intensity. When a woman is emotional, she wants us to be with her. She wants us to push on to the heart of how she feels DESPITE the intensity.

Failing this test makes a woman feel like her man cannot meet her emotional needs. She cannot trust him with her deepest, darkest energy. And so guarantees that she will test again, more and more.

Conflict is tension. And most men, regardless of how much they LARP, hate tension.

Tension makes them feel like they are going to lose control.

So when they feel it… they escape, give her “silent treatment” or self-protect.

Funnily enough guys think this is the right way to handle things. It’s “alpha.”

NO it makes you a BITCH.

It’s passive-aggressive.

The person who retreats from conflict is the one who is mentally weaker.

So stop running away. Lean into that shit. The storm will pass. And her love and respect for her will increase massively.

Anyway, maybe you suck at this. Don’t feel bad — most men do. As Nietzsche said, women are “man’s most dangerous plaything.”

The question is: do you want to master them?

The irony is the better you get at dealing with conflict with women, the less conflict you will have to endure. Strong frames don’t get tested.

But most people hate short term pain, even if it means long term gain.

Oh well.

That’s why I don’t work with most people. They’re addicted to average. They love playing in the shallow end rather than going deep.

But maybe you’re different. Maybe you want to conquer the heart of a woman. Maybe you want to conquer yourself.

If so, apply here: www.patstedman.com/application

– Pat