As many of you saw, I put out a few tweets the other day re: how “not crying” doesn’t make you tough, it’s a sign of emotional repression:
Some of you wanted me to elaborate on this a bit.
Honestly I think my comments speak for themselves. Guys around these parts are so insecure about how others (particularly women) view them, they freak out if someone suggests being an actual human being with human emotions.
But I’ll clarify, because obviously there are different kinds of “crying” and I think this is what people are getting hung up on.
First, when I don’t cry: Physical pain. Difficult situations. I don’t cry *ever* because I feel sorry for myself. Every day these days all I have is abundance and gratitude for adversity.
That said, my life has been pretty good. You kill my wife and parents, compound break my leg, and leave me alone in the wilderness in winter, maybe I’ll cry for a few minutes before I start to try and figure out a solution. I don’t know. Go ahead and judge me.
When I do cry:
Situations that involve scenes of reconciliation, (male*) sacrifice, unconditional love, generosity, courage / persistence in the face of adversity, and goodbyes to loved ones.
*I’m not dismissing female sacrifice, but I rarely respond to it viscerally especially in film, maybe because I can’t relate to it in the same way or because of how its presented.
High vibrations events, in other words.I’m not a movie buff because most movies, especially today, are low vibration. Propaganda resonates very poorly energetically.
But it would be a lie to deny there are certain movies with IMMENSE emotional power to them.
I’ve cried watching movies with these themes since I was a kid. It’s not a sobbing. It’s simply an expression of the energy. I laugh at myself while it happens, and my wife laughs too. It feels good, and it’s a sign to me what I’m watching has high vibrations behind it.
A lot of you need to understand I’m not crying to get anything, there is ZERO sympathy or outcome I am trying to evoke from it. Most of what you see as negative re: crying has to do with its associations with weakness and neediness — “don’t leave me babe waaaah I promise I’ll change wahhh.”
I have a hard time comprehending this mindset. It grosses me out. I simply cry because I find what I’m experiencing to be beautiful, even if it’s a tragic beauty, like death.
Sometimes the scene is legitimately retarded on the surface, like in the Narnia movie (dunno which one) when the rat or whatever says goodbye at the end and goes through the waves into heaven. This happened to me in theaters and I was like wtf am I crying about this for — it’s an animated rat on a boat.
But I understand now, the medium doesn’t matter when it comes to energy. It’s the archetypal symbolism that speaks to you… or doesn’t, depending on when YOU are at.
Note that I’m not saying you need to cry at animated rats saying goodbye to other animated things to be high vibration. Just making a point that the more heart-centered you are, the more of a reaction to these things you are likely going to have.
Indeed, as I’ve increased my own heart-centeredness I’ve found myself crying MORE… and at even more nuanced things.
For instance:
7 Years in Tibet is one of my favorite movies. I watched it over and over again as a kid, even though the story, while cool, is relatively simple and subdued on the surface.
I watched it again recently after a decade and was surprised to find myself crying even at certain vistas displayed, and at very very subtle interactions between Brad Pitt and the Dalai Lama.
The film is packed with love… and the discovery of someone learning how to love not only others, but himself.
It is one of the highest vibration films I’ve watched.
(I am actually tearing up in the cafe writing this, imagining one scene in particular, it is so powerful)
A lot of you are not going to get this. And that’s OK.
I am obviously not writing any of this for your approval.
If I cared about that I’d tweet about how much steak I eat and how much sex I have.
I am writing it to offer a peek at a different way of living — to those who are curious.
There are different ways to navigate women.
There are different ways to navigate life.
As a man, you need to be grounded in your masculinity. But being grounded in masculinity does not mean being dissociated from your emotions — of being separated from your heart.
One dimensional masculinity is emotional repression, just as one dimensional femininity is emotional immaturity.
This was the false dichotomy presented to society before the 60s, and laid the seeds for the revolution that followed… which led to the sick, inverted world we have today… of weak, pathetic men with no purpose.
Reject the “either / or” assumptions of small minded people.
When you talk to a woman, you can talk to her with assertiveness, with strength… but also with empathy, with passion.
When you fuck her, you can fuck her with dominance and with intimacy.
They are not mutually exclusive.Indeed, they compound on each other.
Women are desperate to feel something from their man. Even when they themselves are repressed, and pretend to not because of their fear.
Men who can’t feel anything themselves are incapable of speaking to a woman on this level.
They are only able to fuck her body, not her soul. They can only attract her mind, not her heart.
David DeAngelo (Eben Pagan) understood this, which is why he sold the brand, got the fuck out of the repressed PUA world, began a spiritual practice, went to burning man, and finally met a woman who spoke to him on both a sexually polarized and emotional wave length.
It’s why I associate with those corners as much as here… because most manospherians don’t grasp emotional connection, just as most in spirituality circles don’t comprehend masculinity.
To get to the high levels of living and loving, you need both.
Anyway.If this balance is something you’re interested in developing… I think you get the picture.
There are not many who have done the work. And there are even fewer who teach it… fewer still for less than 5 figures.
Fortunately for you, I don’t charge that much.
Yet.
– Pat
