So word on the street, a big day of confusion and mourning for the daygame community.
Tom Toreo, a brit who built his reputation as the top disciple of the original daygamers — Yad and Andy Yosha — has gone into digital hiding.
The reason, it seems?
Some guy he had worked with, and had been seen in pictures with, has been recently convicted in the UK of harassment… including of some underage girls.
Not going to go too deep into this drama.
By all accounts this guy was very aggressive and creepy. Not reading signals at all, going in for the kiss without any attraction or rapport built, continuing to stalk the girls on instagram after the approach…
You get the idea. An extreme example, for sure.
And yet, it’s definitely a blow for street approaching… at least in the UK.
Getting blown out for a “bad set” is one thing, going to prison for it… quite another.
Though hardly a surprise for yours truly, as I predicted such a result on Nick Sparks’ facebook way back in 2015-16 when the law was passed.
As usual with these social justice laws, they are too subjective. If a woman “feels” as if she has been harassed, that’s enough for a trial… and then you as a man are subject to all sorts of biases by the judicial system which can ruin your life.
Not that I condone this guy’s behavior by any means.
Sounds like a predator tbh, or at the very least socially clueless.
The problem is simply that like with ALL of these hammer-nail approaches, your average dude who just wants to learn how to attract women gets lumped in with these borderline-rapists.
Which means that less and less of your regular, good dudes (as you all are) have an incentive to brave the unknown of male-female flirtation.
So, what to do?
Well, contrary to what you might think… I don’t believe the time for daygame is over.
Yes, guys are going to have to be more careful when it comes to pushing. You are not going to be able to test your limits by pushing girls to extreme discomfort as some have done in the past.
(I’ve never recommended this, btw. I get the argument but the goal isn’t to become numb to rejection, it’s to reframe it.)
But remember there are THOUSANDS of guys daygaming every day who are converting. Talking to a girl and making some assumptions about her, vibing, and getting her number to chat more isn’t going to get some duncecapped copper with a billyclub chasing after you in 99.999999% of cases so long as you respect her boundaries.
Plus, daygame is a VERY useful skill to have in your pocket as a guy. See a pretty girl in the cafe, in a museum, or on the subway? Knowing how to proceed is powerful for making serendipitous encounters into dates. I am happy I learned it… and it’s why I teach the fundamentals to my clients.
But, going to be real.
Unless you are VERY passionate about practicing this cold approaching… unless you are truly drawn to the thrill and challenge of turning strangers into consorts…
There are easier ways to meet and attract women.
Ways that are more “natural” and don’t lend to any legal risk… and have enormous additional benefits to your life.
What’s that, you ask? Building up your social circle.
Which is incidentally *exactly* how I managed to date the number of women that I did.
Look, we all have our specialties. I KNOW daygame, and give guys the tools and diagnostics to improve with it.
But if you want to be a daygame master, I am not your guy. Because I do NOT have “1000+” cold approaches under my belt… and am very unlikely to take you out “infield” (there are better, more refreshed options for this anyway).
My skill is making friends in multiple networks and building MASSIVE amounts of social preselection, so new women are constantly popping into my life and wanting to hang out with me.
It’s like getting fresh produce delivered to your door daily, rather than having to go out and hunt.
Anyway, it’s the skill I teach to my clients, which means if you apply these strategies and tactics… in just a few months you’ll be well on your way.
If you want to learn, apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
