Got some thoughtful comments from Nash himself yesterday on LMR (“last minute resistance”) I wanted to explore on here for you.
In it he mentions Brian Begin / TheFearless Man’s talk at the 21Convention a few years back.
I am on a somekind of internal quest around LMR. I think it is the best of battlefields to learn about yourself and girls…
And what Brian is saying is dead on. “To go get it, you have to step into that tension. And it’s going to be uncomfortable. You have to do things you’ve never done before. And in that, you grow new muscles… new abilities It’s about a feeling. Not a thought, not an idea. And actual feeling that you feel with other people. When you do it, you feel the tension from another person. A lot of you do it with your heads down, closed, pushing, forcing, and that won’t work. You feel the tension from another person, and that’s how you grow.
”I think men misunderstand the “job” in LMR in the same way they misunderstand a lot in game… and it’s that “heads down, closed, pushing, forcing, and that won’t work” kind of thing.
That is kind of how I used to do LMR. After you learn to escalate, if you’re ambitious… a lot of us land there.
Now… I’m all about this… “When you’re do it, you feel the tension from another person. ” It’s really feeling HER experience, so much so that she knows I can feel it, a communion THERE… and then… she opens up… and you walk fwd together.That is my experience now, over and over.
Anyway… I know you’re not focused on seduction (I wish you were!), but all this seems close to your sweet spot.
Oh Nash, not focused on seduction? You wound me…
At any rate, the King of Daygame’s question was really more of implication.
(Or at least, that’s how I’m going to take it)
What do I think?
Well, I will tell you my friends.
I think Nash and Brian are pretty much exactly on point.
And underline a very common problem in PUA circles:
An intellectualization of the attraction process vs an emotional, instinctual comprehension.
Look — tactics matter when it comes to seduction.
You should learn when to progress from one phase of an interaction to another… and you should learn how to do it.
But even more valuable is to understand the broader framework.
Tension, trust, tension, trust… from approach to sex.
And guess what?
LMR is a key part of this framework.
Because in cases when a girl really likes you, wants to sleep with you, but feels the hesitation to move forward towards sex…
It’s usually because she is having a hard time TRUSTING the tension.
She is feeling a lot of energy within her, but doesn’t know whether she feels safe with it… or with you.
Which is why the above advice is so valuable.
It makes you FEEL where she is at… to be there with her nerves… which allows you to guide her forward.
It’s not expedient behavior, it’s empathetic.
Which is one of the key differences between the work that I do vs your garden variety dating coach.
Most coaches tell you what to do.
I show you how to BE.
To the extent that guys who come to me who aren’t interested in changing — I REFUSE to work with them.
If things suck for you with women is because your ORIENTATION towards them sucks.
You need to change your entire way of thinking if you want things to be different. Your perspective MUST shift.
Tactics if anything will just make things WORSE — because you are prolonging a losing strategy.
You must question the assumptions of your beliefs.
The only problem?
It’s tough to question assumptions from the inside, because all your thoughts are based on them.
You need someone on the outside with not only a different mindset… but with the ability to see and deconstruct the ROOT of your own damaging assumptions.
Someone with the ability to get you to leave behind the old, and enter the new.
Someone like me.
So if you’re struggling with how you’re interacting with women…
Apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
PS Nash gave an INCREDIBLE review of my original masterclass (the current version has the same material, just has 4.5 more hours). If you want an in depth detail of what’s inside, check it out here: https://daysofgame.com/theory/who-the-hell-is-pat-stedman-masterclass-review/