So a question I received the other day in a DM:
“what do you mean by friendzoning them? I’ve never understood how that works with women. My understanding was that because women like safe relationships that have no serious consequences, they wouldn’t have an issue with being friendzoned.
And when you say to not take it seriously, this is mostly a question of frame correct? Instead of being the creepy guy who is rejected and keeps persisting (while internally thinking he doesn’t deserve such a girl), framing the rejection as not a big deal would ensure for the most part future propositions.”
I’ll try to answer this relatively succinctly…
“Friendzoning” is something that pretty much every woman has done to a guy at some point in her life.
This is where a guy is interested in a girl… but she doesn’t have any sexual interest in him… so she encourages his investment (to continue receiving attention) but doesn’t let anything progress.
Commonly the reverse of this is considered to be “the bang zone”… you’re hooking up with a girl, but not offering her commitment.
The idea behind these paradigms is that women want commitment and men want sex.
Which is true, broadly speaking.
Which is also why mixing this up can be such a powerful tool in your arsenal.
Let me explain.
Women are expect men to pursue them romantically, even if they claim to not “understand” why guys think they should be more than friends.
Perhaps these women don’t want to admit their intentions, or perhaps they really are unconscious of them.
Either way… women get their attention fix from guys who invest in the hope of something happening between them. They give just enough back to keep his interest… to let him feel like there’s a possibility… but don’t let anything go further.
But because this is the “natural” order of things, it throws women off quite a bit when rather than pursue them and let them friendzone you, you friendzone them.
What’s this entail, exactly?
Basically — it’s flirting with a girl, being playful, the usual… but not actually trying to make something happen with her. It’s telling her you’re looking forward to being friends… controlling the ambiguity yourself. It’s not making her a romantic option despite the emotions you’re creating.
Why do this?
Because your broader social and dating prospects improve when you turn women who are not top prospects into “wingwomen.” You gain access to their circles and they help you meet women who are better fits.
This arrangement is akin to “planting seeds” rather than eating them. You seek to expand your leads rather than burn them, which is especially a concern if you are just starting off dating.
But arguably one of the best parts of this approach is that the wingwomen often become more interested in you because you acknowledged the truth of your chemistry and showed no desperation about making things happen.
This is rare among men, remember.
These women are used to thirsty men… so a guy who is actually happy to just flirt and be friendly, rather than try and capitalize on a chance… paradoxically makes these women more inclined to see you as high value… and enhances both the trust and tension in the dynamic (the 2 key elements in attraction).
Anyway, my advice to you?
As you meet women, unless you feel strongly about one, friendzone her rather than jump on the opportunity.
Think long term.You will profit with the ladies accordingly.
(I sure did)
And if you want to know more of my social and dating secrets, and want to see how to apply them to your life?
Well, the best way is to apply to work with me here: www.patstedman.com/application
The work we do together WILL change your life.
Serious applications only.
– Pat
